Unthunkable Stuff I’ve Been Thunking About

I blogged a minimum of 2 blogs a day for three years straight without missing a week,..  that is until last week. Last week was the first time I went a straight week where I was completely blog blocked… and the world was a kinder, safer space. But thanks to an ass clown that contacted me via my web site and inspired me to move forward (see post), I’m unblocked. Yes, so blame that guy! Want a picture of that guy? He wants me to believe he’s this guy (pictured below who is also these guys pictured in this blog posts)

Thanks to the interest of my “fans” I’m reinspired to write and continue my unending stream of philosophical wisdom. Today, I’d like to pose the big questions… you know the questions that have stymied mankind through the ages. I’m not talking the silly little things like, “why are we here,” or “what does it all mean,” or “does god exist,” or “who put the cookie in the cookie jar.” I’m talking about the really big thinking questions.

  1. Medication Warnings – What’s up with this common warning on most medications, “If you’re allergic to X don’t take X.” Is there any way to find out if your allergic to X if you’ve never taken X?
  2. Food Ingredients – While on the subject of product labels, what’s up with the labeling, “Artificial and Natural Flavors?” Isn’t that just flavors?
  3. Natural Ingredients – What’s all this bragging about natural ingredients? No chemicals? What’s a chemical? The definition of chemical: a compound or substance that has been purified or prepared, especially artificially. By that definition potable water (safe or drinkable water) is purified, prepared by creating a chemical reaction by mixing two parts Hydrogen and one part Oxygen. Drinkable water is not a natural ingredient… it is a chemical. Arsenic, on the other hand, is a natural ingredient. Just sayin…
  4. Someone’s In The Kitchen with Dinah – Who?
  5. Someone’s In The Kitchen I Know – Does the song author know the identity of the person in the kitchen as in, I know who is in the kitchen with Dinah, or does the author just know that Dinah is not alone in the kitchen? In which case… big deal. Someone’s playing on the old banjo and everyone knows that Dinah can’t strum on no banjo… new or old.
  6. Chalant Health – Why does the Chalant Health web site still exist? Why is a Felon, like Matthew Pugsley still allowed to raise money? Why would anyone rent a home to a guy who has been evicted for nonpayment over 7 times in the last 5 years? Why would anyone “invest” in this con man and his scam company? Why hasn’t the Virginia Corporation Commission shut this down?  Chalant’s license to do business has been terminated.
  7. Big Time Venture Capital Firm 3SI Holdings – Why is it that when a person googles “3si Holdings” the address shows up as 8281 Willow Oaks Corporate Dr. Fairfax, VA 22031 which is the same address as Extended Stay America in Falls Church? We all know that Jason Feimster is a plagiarist. His plagiarism of blog posts is well documented in this post. Is he also plagiarizing addresses? 
  8. Football Question – what is a ceiver? In football, a receiver is the player assigned to catch the ball. Is that player a preceiver prior to ever catching a ball? Are they a ceiver the first time they catch the ball? From the second catch on is this player awarded the title of receiver?
  9. Speaking of Dogs – Does the same concept apply for golden pretrievers?
  10. Roadhouse – Why is it that whenever I’m changing channels and I come across Roadhouse, a thoroughly ridiculous script and movie (a surprising 39 on rotten tomatoes (i thought it would be more like a 10)) I can’t change the channel and I will even be late for an appointment because I’m hypnotized? Some of the best lines from that movie (please don’t ever call it a film which implies art).
    • One bouncer who is new to the club, “This place has a sign hangin’ over the urinal that says, ‘Don’t eat the big white mint’.”
    • Guy with a bad haircut who just got fired to the boss who fired him,  Morgan, “What am I supposed to do?” Dalton, “There’s always barber college.”
    • “Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It don’t belong.”
    • And the one that made me think, what the hell was he thinking when during a fight an ex-con says to the person he’s fighting, “I used to f&3k guys like you in prison.”

And a bonus question?

11. Why is it taking Jonathon Perrelli longer to create a water bottle than it took America to put a man on the moon? Lifefuels… it’s the punchline to a joke.

Additional bonus question thanks to Representative Louie Gohmert from Texas questioning of Robert Mueller during the July 24, Mueller Testimony to the House Judiciary Committee. It went like this:

If you don’t see video it can be found by linking here

12. Question: Is “I Take Your Question, ” the new Bye Felicia or is it the Mueller equivalent to “Bless Your Heart?”

Answer: M. Tia Johnson, a visiting law professor at Georgetown Law School and former assistant secretary for legal affairs at the US Department of Homeland Security, tells Quartz that this is a standard legal response. “‘I take your question’ is used often when the witness doesn’t know the answer to the question,” she said. It’s distinct from a straight “no” because it indicates that the answer may well be knowable, just that this witness doesn’t know it.

For reference, here is the proper use of “I Take Your Question.”

By the way, the answer to, “who put the cookie in the cookie jar,” is nearly always, “I take your question.”

Please!!!! Please!!! Please!!! If you have answers to these questions or if I’ve missed any other of the most important questions in life… please leave them in the comment section of this post! Thanks!