The This of the Thats

There are more than a few overdone phrases in the startup world that drive me nuts. I hate the intersections as in we’re at the intersection,  “we’re  at the intersection of tech and sustainability,” courtesy of the Shelton Group, or “we’re at the intersection of absurdity and buffoonery,” courtesy of LifeFuels. Or how about, “We’re the Tinder of Uber (for people who want to date Uber Drivers). But nothing makes me crazier than the We are the This of the Thats.”

But before I get to that, I have this great product idea! I’m talking as good as the 3rd Love Bra or the Stupid Socks that come in shoe sizes instead of small, medium-large. Here’s my idea, it’s the 3rd Love Bra of Socks. Shoes come in Left and Right… why not socks? LeftRight Socks are designed to treat your pinky toe like the little baby son of the big toe!

Now some real This of the Thats:

Shapezine – The Netflix of Fitness

BloomThat – The Uber of Flowers

Washio – The Uber of Laundry

Crowdstrike – We are the Netflix of Security

Tablo – We’re the Google of data visualization

Militi – We’re the Google of opinions

Getty Images – We’re the Amazon of Digital Images

ShareRing – We’re the Blockchain Fueled Amazon for the Shared Economy

Hi There – The Tinder Dating App of Weed

Jason Calacanis’ Inside app We’re the ‘Whole Foods’ of journalism

Creative Live – The Whole Foods of Television

John Travolta in Get Shorty – Oldsmobile Silluet is the Cadillac of Minivans


And how about some imaginary This of the Thats

We’re The Instagram of Cats

We’re the Olive Garden of Seafood (be a good one for Red Lobster)

Or these for DC crap:

LifeFuels – We’re the Don’s Johns Portable Potties of Liquid Pez Dispensers

Communiclique – We’re the Theranos of Startups… only stupider

Trustify – Were Fire Festival of Startups… only less honest

3Si Holdings – We’re the Three Stooges of Venture Capitalists… if there was only 1 stooge

Angel Kings – We’re the Ronald McDonalds of Angel Investing… if Ronald McDonald was a child molester

Union – The Potemkin Villiage of Startup Communities… without the nice paint job

Calling all readers… do you have a this of a that that drives you nuts? What is it? Add it to the comments below.

Signed Mr. Cranky
The Mr. Rogers of DCTech