Bullshit – Jason Calacanis Angel University

It's difficult to make money in Angel Investing. Most Angels lose money. For people who want to spend money to learn how to lose money, there is Jason Calacanis Angel University. Because if you're willing to flush cash down a toilet, why not flush some of that cash down the Jason Calacanis Angel University toilet. Wait just one cotton-picking minute Glenbo, you Cranky old fart...

More Jason Feimster Plagiarist – Conman and Fake VC

Unfortunately for the World, Jason Feimster, Plagiarist, Conman and Fake VC is back (check out 3sI Phony VC). His web site is back up and this semi-literate, conman is continues to steal other people writing and present it as his own (see this post about his prior plagiarism foibles). If Jason Feimster ever had an original thought it would die of loneliness. That must be why this guy steals other peoples work. There was a while where his low-rent, Wix website went down...

How To Invest in Startups

This is Mr. Cranky's Official Guide on How To Invest in Startups. Now a better topic than How To Invest in Startups would be Why The Hell Would You Want to Invest In Startups but that's another article. Also, a warning. These are my opinions, based on experience as a limited partner in Venture Fund and an Angel Investor. Do not make investment decisions based on this article! Got that? It's just observations of the various choices and the relative benefits and pitfalls of multiple investment methodologies. No primer on how to invest in startups would be complete without a primer on the state of Venture Capital. Venture Capital Investment today is divided into the Haves and the Have Nots: The Haves (THs) - a group of venture funds who raise money from top financial institutions and endowment funds. The THs don't have to actively go out and raise money, there's a long line of Limited Partners ready to invest well over $1 million dollars in the fund to get access to the "best deals." If you're reading this to learn something, you can't invest in any of THs. THs get access to the best deals and in order to limit competition...

Bobby Ocampo and Blueprint Equity

When I wrote the post, Angel And Venture Capital Are Broken – Part II, I highlighted two innovative variations of traditional Venture Capital, Proof Fund and Private Access Network. Then a few months later, I sat down with Bobby Ocampo of Blueprint Equity. Bobby introduced me to yet a third variation, that of his new fund Blueprint Equity. If you're from DC and you live in a hefty bag (basically that means those of you who get your DC Startup news from the Technically.DC and DCinno, the startup equivalents to getting your world news from Fox News), you probably don't know Bobby Ocampo. So let me catch you up on stuff that doesn't come from some inane, Jonathon-Perrelli-esque, self-promotional, press release. Bobby did 3 years at a Venture Capital firm, Grotech, followed by five years at Revolution. You all know Revolution right? Because even Technically DC and DCInno can spell Steve Case and Revolution Ventures. According to SEC Filings, Blueprint Equity raised $54 million dollars of a $75 million dollar fund. What makes Blueprint Different than other funds located in C besides the fact that Bobby just picked up and moved to San Diego? Got that, Mr. Ocampo left town and opened up shop in San Diego....

All Eyes on Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify

So there's this guy in town (DC) who likes to play dress up. While all the other kids were playing Cowboys and Native Americans, this guy dressed up like he was a Venture Capitalist.  I'm talking about Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify. Back in the day, he played big venture capitalist boy. Today, all the other kids are playing astronaut, but little Jon is playing big-time CEO of a hot, water-bottle startup (not hot water but a hot startup and regular water). Nine years ago, there were some people in town who gave little Jonny P, real money which he spread around DCTech like cash was apple seeds and little Jon was Jonny Appleseed. Dressed up like a VC, he indiscriminately spread the cash randomly with no thesis, strategy or plan, throwing some here and there. Ninety percent of JP's investments were or are dogs. But just like a blind squirrel...

Jason Feimster the Clown Prince of Venture Capital

Great News for DCTech! Jason Feimster, the clown prince of Venture Capital is back in business! His website is back up. It's still a cheap ass, low-rent, Wix-based web site. It still features a ton of plagiarized content (See the Clown Prince of Venture Capitals plagiarizing post). Feimster's page is still riddled with lies. But, let me say this in defense of the Clown Prince of Venture Capital's website if it was compared to the underlying, "Business," if the website was a novel it would be, War and Piece, while the business is 50 Shades of Feces (Jason, here's a link to help you figure out what the word "Feces" means). For some strange reason, cough, cough lack of money, Jason's website went AWOL in June. Maybe after being fully invested, he had a cash flow problem and couldn't pay his $6 monthly web hosting fee (see post). I'm told, but can't verify that his last fund was fully invested when he invested the last nickel in a pack of juicy fruit gum. So he closed 3Si Holdings Fund I. The crack investigative reporting team at Driven Forward were able to obtain the actual complete Fund I portfolio. Here it is: One...

Death By Venture Capital – Angel & Venture Capital Part III

Many Startups fail caused by Death by Venture Capital. Here's the deal. Imagine you are a parent. You have three kids. You don't give a crap about the kids as individuals. You take a portfolio approach to the family.  It doesn't matter what happens to any of the kids individually as long as one of them grows up to cure cancer, it's a win! The other two could wind up dead or in jail, but the portfolio of kids is highly profitable. Venture Capital is like that, except VC's eat their children...

Open Letter to Whiny Jason Feimster

Poor little whiny Jason Feimster. He's being bullied! I know this because I just read his comment on a LinkedIn post.  It went like this: What are we at again? Speaking of conducting due diligence, have we ever spoke? I find your negative press and borderline lies almost amusing. However, your cyber bullying rhetoric is getting a little over played. It sounds like the ex-Marine, and big-time VC, who runs a $70 million Venture Fund (according to Feimster) is being bullied by a little old man who isn't a VC running a $70 million fund. Either Mr. Cranky is a bully or whiny Jason Feimster thinks you can be bullied by facts. Jason was responding to this post on LinkedIn that linked to this post. So I want to respond to this complaint in an open letter: Dear Whiny Jason Feimster, It is true we have never spoken. It is also true that I have only presented facts and from those facts, made several assertions. I'm concerned that you believe that there are borderline lies. I assure you that if there are any lies in my posts, and you can prove to me I am in error, I will remove the posts and sing your praises!!!! Let's address...

Do Your Due Diligence – More 3Si Jason Feimster BS

Please, folks, do your Due Diligence!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about.. it means you haven't read any Mr. Cranky posts this year. Let me just say that I am mildly suspicious of Jason Feimster's bona fides as a Venture Capitalist. I am slightly skeptical regarding the legitimacy of calling 3Si a Venture Capital firm and not a raging burning pile of hippo poo. Recently when it comes to scumbag scam artists I was reminded that I can write enough posts exposing the same crooks. I must repeat myself constantly to expose the frauds and cheats that inhabit the startup world. For instance, after umpteen posts about Matthew Pugesly, pretend founder of pretend company Chalant Health some dope still invested, With all the work I do the world is still able to find gullible morons willing to invest in the only company in DC that might be worse than Danny Boice's Trustify. It's disheartening that even when I do your due diligence for you, some people won't go to the old google machine and find it. So I was pleasantly surprised to find someone that at the very least, knows how to use google and found my posts on Feimster and 3Si. I recently received this email: From: someone ...