All Eyes on Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify

So there's this guy in town (DC) who likes to play dress up. While all the other kids were playing Cowboys and Native Americans, this guy dressed up like he was a Venture Capitalist.  I'm talking about Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify. Back in the day, he played big venture capitalist boy. Today, all the other kids are playing astronaut, but little Jon is playing big-time CEO of a hot, water-bottle startup (not hot water but a hot startup and regular water). Nine years ago, there were some people in town who gave little Jonny P, real money which he spread around DCTech like cash was apple seeds and little Jon was Jonny Appleseed. Dressed up like a VC, he indiscriminately spread the cash randomly with no thesis, strategy or plan, throwing some here and there. Ninety percent of JP's investments were or are dogs. But just like a blind squirrel...

Jason Feimster the Clown Prince of Venture Capital

Great News for DCTech! Jason Feimster, the clown prince of Venture Capital is back in business! His website is back up. It's still a cheap ass, low-rent, Wix-based web site. It still features a ton of plagiarized content (See the Clown Prince of Venture Capitals plagiarizing post). Feimster's page is still riddled with lies. But, let me say this in defense of the Clown Prince of Venture Capital's website if it was compared to the underlying, "Business," if the website was a novel it would be, War and Piece, while the business is 50 Shades of Feces (Jason, here's a link to help you figure out what the word "Feces" means). For some strange reason, cough, cough lack of money, Jason's website went AWOL in June. Maybe after being fully invested, he had a cash flow problem and couldn't pay his $6 monthly web hosting fee (see post). I'm told, but can't verify that his last fund was fully invested when he invested the last nickel in a pack of juicy fruit gum. So he closed 3Si Holdings Fund I. The crack investigative reporting team at Driven Forward were able to obtain the actual complete Fund I portfolio. Here it is: One...

Death By Venture Capital – Angel & Venture Capital Part III

Many Startups fail caused by Death by Venture Capital. Here's the deal. Imagine you are a parent. You have three kids. You don't give a crap about the kids as individuals. You take a portfolio approach to the family.  It doesn't matter what happens to any of the kids individually as long as one of them grows up to cure cancer, it's a win! The other two could wind up dead or in jail, but the portfolio of kids is highly profitable. Venture Capital is like that, except VC's eat their children...

Open Letter to Whiny Jason Feimster

Poor little whiny Jason Feimster. He's being bullied! I know this because I just read his comment on a LinkedIn post.  It went like this: What are we at again? Speaking of conducting due diligence, have we ever spoke? I find your negative press and borderline lies almost amusing. However, your cyber bullying rhetoric is getting a little over played. It sounds like the ex-Marine, and big-time VC, who runs a $70 million Venture Fund (according to Feimster) is being bullied by a little old man who isn't a VC running a $70 million fund. Either Mr. Cranky is a bully or whiny Jason Feimster thinks you can be bullied by facts. Jason was responding to this post on LinkedIn that linked to this post. So I want to respond to this complaint in an open letter: Dear Whiny Jason Feimster, It is true we have never spoken. It is also true that I have only presented facts and from those facts, made several assertions. I'm concerned that you believe that there are borderline lies. I assure you that if there are any lies in my posts, and you can prove to me I am in error, I will remove the posts and sing your praises!!!! Let's address...

Do Your Due Diligence – More 3Si Jason Feimster BS

Please, folks, do your Due Diligence!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about.. it means you haven't read any Mr. Cranky posts this year. Let me just say that I am mildly suspicious of Jason Feimster's bona fides as a Venture Capitalist. I am slightly skeptical regarding the legitimacy of calling 3Si a Venture Capital firm and not a raging burning pile of hippo poo. Recently when it comes to scumbag scam artists I was reminded that I can write enough posts exposing the same crooks. I must repeat myself constantly to expose the frauds and cheats that inhabit the startup world. For instance, after umpteen posts about Matthew Pugesly, pretend founder of pretend company Chalant Health some dope still invested, With all the work I do the world is still able to find gullible morons willing to invest in the only company in DC that might be worse than Danny Boice's Trustify. It's disheartening that even when I do your due diligence for you, some people won't go to the old google machine and find it. So I was pleasantly surprised to find someone that at the very least, knows how to use google and found my posts on Feimster and 3Si. I recently received this email: From: someone ...

Angel Investing Is Broken Part 1

Angel Investing is Broken and there are multiple factors that cooked the Goose that was never really golden. To evaluate the change, let's look back in history. In the 1990s there was a much higher bar to start a company. Every bozo with an idea did not get to call themselves a founder. To start a company, real capital was required. There was no cloud, so software founders were forced to use real cash, $100's of thousands of dollars on expensive computer equipment. There was no open source so software had to be developed from scratch costing more time, man-hours and mullah. The infrastructure didn't exist to facilitate a geographically dispersed team which meant that products were developed with expensive in-house, on-shore resources. The result? In the 90s if you couldn't raise $6 million from a Venture Capital firm, you were a dreamer and not a founder. This meant that few companies with similar ideas got off the ground, the competition was limited and a Venture Capital blessing significantly increased the odds of a win. In the 1990s, raising six million dollars was a serious barrier to entry to enter a market. Just the fact of raising enough money to build a product made the...

3Si Jason Feimster part 3

My 3Si introduction was in early 2017 when a friend, let's call him Joe, called me about a VC he was speaking with. I had been advising this friend for years. He's a great guy and in the last five years, he has been diligently building a great company that serves a social good. I love this guy (yes DC, Mr. Cranky doesn't hate everyone). Joe had recently pitched at a local venture capital pitch event where he met a big-time Venture Capitalist interested to invest in Joe's company. They had follow-up meetings after the event and 3Si confirmed they were hot to invest. I asked who he was speaking with at 3Si and he said, Jason Feimster. That was how Jason Feimster and 3Si first popped up on my radar screen. I told Joe I would do a little research and get back to him. I checked Angel List, checked Crunchbase, checked the 3Si website and all the data pointed to bullshit. The only portfolio company was a small company called Lifemarkers that had no investors with the exception of 3Si. The two principals of 3Si, Hard Weinstock, and Jason Feimster were the founders and management team of both Lifemarkers and...

DC VC vs CB Insights Map

DC VC vs CB Insights – Fake News

DC VC vs CB Insights. That's today's story. Why is it that there are so few sources of real facts in the Startup World. CB Insights is a company that tries to sell and monetize data displays their total lack of understanding of data. They serve Data without Insight. Is CB Insights an arm of the Russian Government hired to distribute fake news? Data without wisdom is worthless.  Give a list of tables and data to this little monkey here and he will derive the same value from CB INsights list of Most Active VCs in Each State as a founder looking to raise money in DC. It's worthless to both. What should people do with a list that says a company that has not made a legitimate new investment in 3 years and has no office in DC or anywhere else for that matter do with this information? I guess this is the danger of small numbers...