The This of the Thats

There are more than a few overdone phrases in the startup world that drive me nuts. I hate the intersections as in we're at the intersection,  "we're  at the intersection of tech and sustainability," courtesy of the Shelton Group, or "we're at the intersection of absurdity and buffoonery," courtesy of LifeFuels. Or how about, "We're the Tinder of Uber (for people who want to date Uber Drivers). But nothing makes me crazier than the "We are the This of the Thats." But before I get to that, I have this great product idea! I'm talking as good as the 3rd Love Bra or the Stupid Socks that come in shoe sizes instead of small, medium-large. Here's my idea, it's the 3rd Love Bra of Socks. Shoes come in Left and Right...

This Year in DCTech – 2018 edition

It's that time again. Time to review all the tremendous accomplishments of the most dynamic tech ecosystem south of Columbia Md, North of Springfield VA,  East of Gaithersburg MD and west of Annapolis. Yes, DCTech we're number 1 out of any city in the world with our exact lat/long coordinates! Yea us! Go Team DC! So let's get right to it. January - Was Action Packed!!!! Amazon Will Change Everything - Amazon announced they would hold a beauty contest to determine which town they will destroy by overloading local infrastructure, straining the already huge employment talent gap by bringing 50,000 new jobs parked in Amazon HQ2. DC is one of the "lucky" cities to make the short list (see post). Boice Is The Champion - Danny Boice wins the coveted Worst Wolf of Startupland Title. Making Shit Happen (As Long as Nothing Happening is the Definition of Happening) - Lots of good news from Jonathon Perrelli and LifeFuels...

Startup Dictionary – An Urban-Dictionary for Startups

Startup speek is bullshit speek that requires translation. So I've created a Startup Dictionary to be like the Urban Dictionary for Startups. I hope this Startup Dictionary helps you distill truth from doublespeak. Agile - The excuse developers use for coding without a plan and running around in circles Artificial Intelligence (AI) - The living embodiment of the Shakespeare line, "first kill all the lawyers." It is AI that will replace the lawyers, accountants, and marketeers.  Look for a new AI app to answer spam email and phone calls. Award Winning - Pre-revenue company Big Data - Big deal Blockchain - Something that someday is going to be extremely valuable and important to people other than those people getting rich  running blockchain conferences Bootstrap - An idea either so good that it funds itself or so bad that no one will fund it Business Developer - Someone who will be making phone calls all day, every day to people who don't pick up the phone Change Agent - A nag or in Yiddish, Yenta Crypto-Currency - See Blockchain DCInno - Snot Rag Disruptive - Makes everything that nobody used or needed obsolete Elevator Pitch - Cramming 10 minutes of abstract meaningless jargon into a 30-second sentence that could be repeated in less than 30,...

Driven Forward DCTech 2019 Gift Calendar

What's the perfect holiday gift for DCTech Startup Fans? It's the Mr Cranky, 2019 Gift Calendar! Feel free to print this out and make your own or if you prefer, you can contact me and order your officially printed version. Printed, bound and sent to your address for just $19.99. Want to order one, contact me here. Tell me how many you want and I'll be in touch. Remember, if you'd like one, contact me here!...

The Washington Post Non-Washington Business Coverage

The Washington Post has been asleep at the wheel in terms of covering the Startup world of DC. Granted, the startup world of DC has been comatose for some time. But while there are criminals and thieves plying their craft in DC, The Washington Post, is mum. But on October 12, 2018, the Washington Post's, Antonia Noori Farzan, woke up and penned an article about a minor crook in the Washington Suburbs of Fall River, Massachusetts. A DC suburb if 353 miles and a 5 1/2 hour drive is a commute. Yes, the paper which barely covers what is happening in business in DC didn't miss an opportunity to cover the curious inconsequential case of the 23-year-old Mayor-Elect of Falls River. The article: Elected mayor at 23 in struggling Fall River, Mass., Jasiel F. Correia II had the makings of a rising star — until Thursday (see link) As the post reports, "early Thursday morning, federal agents arrested Correia on charges that he stole almost a quarter of a million dollars from seven people who had invested in his start-up." Yet when local DC-based startup Comunniclique founder Andy Powers was found guilty of bilking local investors out of over $10 million dollars (which by my...

Pulling Weeds in the DC Startup Garden

If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden and all the startups were plant life, the good companies would be flowers, especially Urban Stems and Bloompop that happen to sell flowers. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden than the DC Startup Tech "Journalists" would be the farmers who shine sunlight and spread manure in our gardens. "Journalists" from Tecnical.ly DC and DCInno do a great job of spreading the crap. They indiscriminately spread life-giving nutrients to all plants be they flowers or weeds. That's great because every garden needs fertilizer. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden it would be a small garden and unfortunately, this garden is over-fertilized with poo and is infested with weeds. The weeds you ask? They are companies like Trustify, Chalant Health, Union, and LifeFuels, with "Venture Craptial" firms like 3Si, with false prophets like Paul Singh, Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli. they are the second tier, phonies who don't even qualify to the 1st class huckster status like, Jason Feimster, Matthew Pugsley, and Janet Ridgely. To the outright abusive criminals like Andy Powers, Danny Boice, and Jen Mellon. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden, this garden would need a gardener willing to get his or her...

Danny Boice Worst Wolf of Startupland

Danny Boice Worst Wolf of Startupland. It's official. Danny Boice of Trustify is the 2017 Winner of  The Mr. Cranky First Annual Wolf of Startupland. Make no mistake, winner, in this case, means loser. The Academy Awards have their Oscar. The Worst Wolf of Startupland Awards has our Dookie! And the Dookie goes to Danny Boice Worst Wolf of Startupland who competed against 5 other accomplished liars, cheaters and scammers, including his wife and he easily bested them all. The Danny Boice Worst Wolf of Startuplandnominees Danny Boice - Trustify - Slimeball lying scumbag who abandoned his wife for her friend, cheated on his wife, kids, and 2 previous employers. Today he is currently cheating investors and the IRS by using investor cash to fund his lavious lifestyle of the rich and famous. Yes, Danny Boice Worst Wolf of Startupland winner! Pictured above is the cover of Danny's 2018 Christmas Cards. Best Danny Boice Article Here  Matthew Q. Pugsley - The only convicted Felon on the list, Mathew consistently stiffs vendors, attorneys, landlords and doesn't pay his alimony or child support for his 4 kids. He reportedly owes $300 thousand to a vendor who helped him develop a product and lost a $100 Thousand judgment to an investor...

Wolves of Startupland

Who Was The Worst Wolf of Startupland in 2017

Picking the Worst of the Worst Wolf of Startupland is a difficult choice but let's lay those choices out for you all and see what you think. Last year I started a series called Wolves of Startupland. The goal was to alert potential investors and employees of the possible risks of investing time, money and reputation in personality led startups. To qualify as a Wolf of Startupland one must at the very least: Have a very casual relationship with truth To repeatedly use other people's money irresponsibly To ignore the norms of corporate disclosure, transparency To have damaged investors, employees and the startup ecosystem through repeated acts of fraud or gross negligence A Wolf of Startupland is not someone who starts a company one time and through gross incompetence and/or a lack of commitment fails miserably.  By way of example, Chris MacDonald of HugeFan is a fool and not a Wolf of Startupland, the clowns at Spinnakr are incompetent wantrepeneurs and not Wolves. A true Wolf of Startupland must be a repeat offender, damage multiple people and they are likely to continue to inflict damage on the startup ecosystem. Lastly, I know many people of faith. True believers tend to be more trustworthy. People rightly assume that...

3rd Not Quite Annual 100 #DCTech Companies I Don’t Hate

Back in April of 2014, Mr. Steven Overly, formerly of the Washington Post, presently of Politico challenged me to name 100 DC Tech companies that I did not hate.  Well, I came up with only 42. Last year, I tried it again and still couldn't come up with 100. Well this year, I'm closer. I've come up with, 78 companies I don't hate. Not being listed doesn't mean I hate your company. It only means that I don't know of or forgot to mention your company. In the interest of specificity, I've included 9 companies that  I do know of and didn't forget to list. That's the DC Tech companies I know that I don't Not Hate. The categories in this post include: The Hidden Gems - The companies that Technally DC, DCInno, Tech.co, and Nibletz have no clue exist and even armed with a GPS, seeing eye dog and sextant, they'd still never find them. The Special Gem - A special company that deserves extra attention The Realy Big Deals - The guys you build an ecosystem around The Companies I Don't Hate The Companies I Don't Not Hate The company I don't Hate or Not Hate but I know who they...