Mia Culpa Jason Calacanis

Mia Culpa Jason Calacanis which I think translates from the original Italian to "That's my Coffee Jason Calacanis." For those of you who don't know, Jason Calacanis is a guy who heard the words of Horace Greeley, "Go West Young Man." Yes, one day this guy from Brooklyn, prior to the hipsterfication of Brooklyn, you know when Brooklyn was still inhabited with urban hillbillies, struck startup unicorn gold and then packed up his bags and moved about 400 miles north of Beverly (that's a Beverly Hillbillies reference). Why Mia Culpa? To catch you up from our last episode of Mr. Cranky is an Asshole in which I trashed Jason's Angel University (see episode one here) and took some cheap yet self amusing shots. You know self amusing, which is to comedy what masturbation is to making love. The Jason Calacanis Empire Jason Calacanis is one of many startup gurus who has built a startup conglomerate consisting of multiple branches: Launch Accelerator - a startup accelerator which competes with my Brake Decelerator Launch Angel Investment Syndicators - this is similar to the kind of syndicates that Paul Singh puts together except, Jason Calacanis is not an idiot, he's not full of shit,  he has...

Heard Around DC Startups

Ah DC Startups, the red-headed, bastard, stepchildren of the startup world. For instance, the other day I read a quote by a guy. In terms of DC Startups, this guy is a successful founder with a good, relative to other DC Startups exits.  I like and respect this guy and his current company.  Yet, the quote was a perfect example of the ridiculous, over-the-top, kind of sound bites it takes to get ink or bits in the startup press in the wastelands of DC Startups. This quote inspired me to pick on all the pronouncements and predictions from DC's "prestigious" prognosticators. Here's the quote that inspired me, "We have the DNA of a billion dollar company" I have the DNA of a Neanderthal (2.7 % of my DNA to be precise) but that doesn't make me a caveman. Nope, I'm a caveman because I have failed to evolve. So to the CEO of the double-helix DNA company, you have the DNA of a decent company but you aren't the next Uber of Uber. On the other hand, you aren't Lifefuels...

Offering Free Investment & Investor Due Diligence Service

For the last few years, I've been researching and reporting on, clowns, scammers, schemers, and scumbags. I've been doing due diligence for investors and founders seeking investments. Sometimes it's as simple as a google search, sometimes, it's a tip from a source, and sometimes, I have to reach out to my sources.  My due diligence has uncovered: Clowns - The Incompetent Imbelishers Paul Singh Evan Burfield Jonathon Perrelli Jason Feimster Alexandra Stanton Crooks - It is my opinion that these folks are crooks or had long-term close relationships with criminals Danny Boice - Cofounder and former CEO of a company under investigation for fraud Jen Mellon - Cofounder and former President of a company under investigation for fraud Andy Powers - Charged with multiple federal counts of fraud Ram Reddy - Vigourously asserts he is a victim and not a criminal Matthew Pugsley - Convicted Felon In the course of my day, I do research to promote my blog which promotes my business. The blog is designed to gain an audience and demonstrate how I apply knowledge, experience, and critical thinking to work with my coaching clients. Readers frequently send me notes of: thanks from those I've helped from getting in trouble - Before the Fact ...

This Year in DCTech – 2018 edition

It's that time again. Time to review all the tremendous accomplishments of the most dynamic tech ecosystem south of Columbia Md, North of Springfield VA,  East of Gaithersburg MD and west of Annapolis. Yes, DCTech we're number 1 out of any city in the world with our exact lat/long coordinates! Yea us! Go Team DC! So let's get right to it. January - Was Action Packed!!!! Amazon Will Change Everything - Amazon announced they would hold a beauty contest to determine which town they will destroy by overloading local infrastructure, straining the already huge employment talent gap by bringing 50,000 new jobs parked in Amazon HQ2. DC is one of the "lucky" cities to make the short list (see post). Boice Is The Champion - Danny Boice wins the coveted Worst Wolf of Startupland Title. Making Shit Happen (As Long as Nothing Happening is the Definition of Happening) - Lots of good news from Jonathon Perrelli and LifeFuels...

What’s In A Name – Sharing Your Name With A Douche

A recently received the following email: Oct 29, 2018, 9:18 AM to glen From: The Other Andy Powers Email: Interested in: Message Body: Hi Mr. Hellman, I'm a different Andy Powers and I encountered your blog after looking curiously at others with my same name online. I am floored and sickened by the stories about the other "me" and others in their crew. I can't believe all that stuff really happened (meant only figuratively, as the details are quite clear and reinforced by SEC orders and the like). I'll have to keep aware of that AP and his digital presence, in case of misunderstanding about someone looking up my name online. How are you connected to those people? It took me a while to understand that those posts were part of your blog, not your Driven Forward business. Did you know them already or know others impacted by them? If the facts are so against them as all this, I'm also surprised that they can still appear successful to anyone else. It's nice to meet you. I'm glad you are recording the details of the stories and proofs behind them. At the least, I wanted to say hello, after reading all these crazy things this morning. Sincerely, The Other Andy Powers Just imagine being a...

Driven Forward DCTech 2019 Gift Calendar

What's the perfect holiday gift for DCTech Startup Fans? It's the Mr Cranky, 2019 Gift Calendar! Feel free to print this out and make your own or if you prefer, you can contact me and order your officially printed version. Printed, bound and sent to your address for just $19.99. Want to order one, contact me here. Tell me how many you want and I'll be in touch. Remember, if you'd like one, contact me here!...

Pulling Weeds in the DC Startup Garden

If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden and all the startups were plant life, the good companies would be flowers, especially Urban Stems and Bloompop that happen to sell flowers. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden than the DC Startup Tech "Journalists" would be the farmers who shine sunlight and spread manure in our gardens. "Journalists" from Tecnical.ly DC and DCInno do a great job of spreading the crap. They indiscriminately spread life-giving nutrients to all plants be they flowers or weeds. That's great because every garden needs fertilizer. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden it would be a small garden and unfortunately, this garden is over-fertilized with poo and is infested with weeds. The weeds you ask? They are companies like Trustify, Chalant Health, Union, and LifeFuels, with "Venture Craptial" firms like 3Si, with false prophets like Paul Singh, Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli. they are the second tier, phonies who don't even qualify to the 1st class huckster status like, Jason Feimster, Matthew Pugsley, and Janet Ridgely. To the outright abusive criminals like Andy Powers, Danny Boice, and Jen Mellon. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden, this garden would need a gardener willing to get his or her...

What A Crock Of Startup Bullshit

I can't take it anymore. I can no longer continue ignoring Paul Singh's startup bullshit disguised as wisdom. Folks in the know keep forwarding to me ridiculous articles, stupid investments, and silly tweets of Paul's. One of his latest gems, a blog post titled, "You (probably) don't need a MVP, You need a list"  forwared to me with the subject line, Do You Believe This Shit? Yes, I sure as shit do because I consider the source. It's Paul Singh, the "prestigious," prestidigitating street performer from the traveling medicine show of startup bullshit. The man who packed up all his earthly possessions into an Airstream trailer, left DC and his Family behind in a cloud of dust. Just in time to beat the crowd of investors and entrepreneurs armed with pitchforks who showed up at his castle (see actual photo below)! [caption id="attachment_78750" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Actual Photo Of DCTech Investors on the way to Paul's House Before They Found Out He Skipped Town[/caption] Since then, he's been traveling to other startup boonies posing as the one-eyed man of startup bullshit in the land of the startup blind. He's the guru of getting it done in startup backwaters like Utica, Kitchenoo, Port Huron, Tallahassee,...

executive coaches - whoopass

Startup Community Leaders or Leavers?

I've always been suspect of startup community leaders. In fact, when Tien Wong accused me of being a startup community leader the other day, I was so offended I almost asked him to turn in his can of WhoopAss. Let's look at a history of startup community leaders in DC and keep score: Startup Community Leaders Who Are Leavers: Mario Morino - DCs first startup community leader at the end of the 90s and beginning of the aughts. He left town for his hometown of Cleveland over 15 years ago. LaunchBox Digital - How could these guys fail with such a strong first cohort (see article) Frank Gruber - Ran DC-Focused Tech Cocktail and left town in 2013 to become a Las Vegas community leader in 2013 Jen Consalvo - Also ran DC-Focused Tech Cocktail and left town in 2013 to become a Las Vegas community leader in 2013 Justin Thorpe - Was a force behind DC-Tech Meetup, DC-Tech Facebook Group left town in 2013 to work with Frank and Jen and came back a year later as a civilian Michael Myernick - Co-founded Proudly Made and a DC-Tech Meetup organizer raised $1.2 million for his "startup," Spinnakr and then snuck out of...