Driven Forward DCTech 2019 Gift Calendar

What's the perfect holiday gift for DCTech Startup Fans? It's the Mr Cranky, 2019 Gift Calendar! Feel free to print this out and make your own or if you prefer, you can contact me and order your officially printed version. Printed, bound and sent to your address for just $19.99. Want to order one, contact me here. Tell me how many you want and I'll be in touch. Remember, if you'd like one, contact me here!...

Pulling Weeds in the DC Startup Garden

If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden and all the startups were plant life, the good companies would be flowers, especially Urban Stems and Bloompop that happen to sell flowers. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden than the DC Startup Tech "Journalists" would be the farmers who shine sunlight and spread manure in our gardens. "Journalists" from Tecnical.ly DC and DCInno do a great job of spreading the crap. They indiscriminately spread life-giving nutrients to all plants be they flowers or weeds. That's great because every garden needs fertilizer. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden it would be a small garden and unfortunately, this garden is over-fertilized with poo and is infested with weeds. The weeds you ask? They are companies like Trustify, Chalant Health, Union, and LifeFuels, with "Venture Craptial" firms like 3Si, with false prophets like Paul Singh, Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli. they are the second tier, phonies who don't even qualify to the 1st class huckster status like, Jason Feimster, Matthew Pugsley, and Janet Ridgely. To the outright abusive criminals like Andy Powers, Danny Boice, and Jen Mellon. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden, this garden would need a gardener willing to get his or her...

What A Crock Of Startup Bullshit

I can't take it anymore. I can no longer continue ignoring Paul Singh's startup bullshit disguised as wisdom. Folks in the know keep forwarding to me ridiculous articles, stupid investments, and silly tweets of Paul's. One of his latest gems, a blog post titled, "You (probably) don't need a MVP, You need a list"  forwared to me with the subject line, Do You Believe This Shit? Yes, I sure as shit do because I consider the source. It's Paul Singh, the "prestigious," prestidigitating street performer from the traveling medicine show of startup bullshit. The man who packed up all his earthly possessions into an Airstream trailer, left DC and his Family behind in a cloud of dust. Just in time to beat the crowd of investors and entrepreneurs armed with pitchforks who showed up at his castle (see actual photo below)! [caption id="attachment_78750" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Actual Photo Of DCTech Investors on the way to Paul's House Before They Found Out He Skipped Town[/caption] Since then, he's been traveling to other startup boonies posing as the one-eyed man of startup bullshit in the land of the startup blind. He's the guru of getting it done in startup backwaters like Utica, Kitchenoo, Port Huron, Tallahassee,...

executive coaches - whoopass

Startup Community Leaders or Leavers?

I've always been suspect of startup community leaders. In fact, when Tien Wong accused me of being a startup community leader the other day, I was so offended I almost asked him to turn in his can of WhoopAss. Let's look at a history of startup community leaders in DC and keep score: Startup Community Leaders Who Are Leavers: Mario Morino - DCs first startup community leader at the end of the 90s and beginning of the aughts. He left town for his hometown of Cleveland over 15 years ago. LaunchBox Digital - How could these guys fail with such a strong first cohort (see article) Frank Gruber - Ran DC-Focused Tech Cocktail and left town in 2013 to become a Las Vegas community leader in 2013 Jen Consalvo - Also ran DC-Focused Tech Cocktail and left town in 2013 to become a Las Vegas community leader in 2013 Justin Thorpe - Was a force behind DC-Tech Meetup, DC-Tech Facebook Group left town in 2013 to work with Frank and Jen and came back a year later as a civilian Michael Myernick - Co-founded Proudly Made and a DC-Tech Meetup organizer raised $1.2 million for his "startup," Spinnakr and then snuck out of...

Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart

I have been collecting a bunch of Random Rants that don't warrant a singular blog post so I thought I'd get them all out at once.  So here we go with Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart. The Peter Noce Affair - My Mobile Phone Rings...

3Si Phony VC

Everyone Who Knows Anything, Knows 3Si Phony VC is a Sham. Well, everyone except the local tech rags. With them, when it comes to that "knowing" thing, there appears to be a problem. These Tech "journalists" either don't know much or don't care about sharing letting what they know to get in the way of a story on deadline. The problem in DC is that too many of the "journalists" at rags like Technically DC and DCInno simply reprint bullshit without doing research. So when they post an article like this one, "WeWork’s veterans-in-residence program expands to DC," by Technically DC or this one, "The 10 Entrepreneurs in WeWork’s First D.C. Veterans in Residence Program," by DCInno the damage the very ecosystem of which they claim to be supporters. I reached out to one, count them, one, of the listed "Team Members" on the 3Si Web Page to ask about his relationship with 3Si. His response, "I Read your 3Si expo. I’m unfortunately linked with them and can’t seem to distance myself. One of the comments you posted came from my client. I Also have a second client that 3Si attempted to screw." I'm no journalist, yet, in doing a modest amount of research I...

Evan Burfield Fail – 1776 Part 3

Welcome to Evan Burfield Fail Part 3, in which I will trace Evan's creation of 1776 to his demotion to CEO of Union (to catch up you can read parts 1 and parts 2 here). In whole these 3 posts track the rise and fall of Burfield or Evan Burfield Fail. In an upcoming post, I will track the Burfield Effect on the DC Ecosystem and make some predictions about his future. If you are keeping score at home: I predicted the failure of 1776 years ago, albeit they breezed past my failure prediction of 2015 I predicted that 1776 would be bought out by Benjamin's desk I predicted that this so-called merger was an actual buy-out of a failing 1776 by Benjamin's Desk DC's Mr. Cranky or DC's Nostradamus? Stay tuned! Evan Burfield Fail - 1776 Coworking In 2012 Startup DC, enabled Burfield to cozy up to the DC Mayor's office. Mayor Gray. As the Startup America initiative was winding down, Evan developed his plan to leverage his relationship with Startup America's, Donna Harris, Mayor Gray and David Zipper, the Business Development Director for DC. In a process that took place in a darkened smoke-filled room of DC's version of Tammany Hall, Evan and Donna proposed the...

#DCTech 1776 Merger or House Cleaning?

Is the Benjamin's Desk, 1776 Merger a merger or is it something else? The deal that has been in the works for 2 months finally closed today. After much consternation, wrangling and negotiated face-saving for the vanquished 1776, Benjamin's Desk kindly allowed Evan Burfield to pretend he's not been pushed out of that which he's burned to the ground. My sources report that Evan's face-saving measures have been a contributing factor in the delay of closing the deal. Is it a merger of equals? Well, it's a merger of equals if you don't take in to account 1776's dire financial straights and incredible operating losses under Evan Burfield's stewardship. It's a merger of equals if you want to insult Jennifer and Anthony Maher who appear to be growing a credible business.  It's a merger of equals if sick equals healthy. Here are the facts we know about the Benjamin's Desk - 1776 Merger The press release says it's a merger Press releases report spin...