The Rise and Fall of Evan Burfield – Part 1

How The Hell Did We Get Here - The Evan Burfield Story Evan Burfield is arguably one of the smartest people in any room. He's also proof that IQ points don't directly correlate with the ability to build and lead a company to a successful conclusion. 1995 NetDecide In 1995, Burfield was a freshly minted, 19-year-old, high school graduate of one of the countries most prestigious High Schools, Thomas Jefferson in Alexandria Virginia.  Post graduation, he skipped college and founded his first company, NetDecide. According to Burfield, he raised a million dollars in angel funding and eventually $20 million in total funding. To set some context of that period, this was after the big exits of AOL, Netscape, Yahoo and many other lottery winners. Everyone wanted in on the gold mine that was the World Wide Web and startups. There were 4 times as many VCs in DC who were 10 times more active and 50 times less discriminating than today's VCs. In 2000, Evan went out in search of institutional investors at a time when every kid with a business plan and a napkin could get funded.  Amed with a pen and a napkin, Burfield found himself a passel of soon to be out-of-work VC's...

Startup Funding: Who To Blame for the Lack of #DCTech Cash?

Who should we blame for the lack of startup funding in DC? Angel Investors - Let's blame the Angel Investors! Why aren't people like Mr Cranky investing in startups anymore? After all, wasn't Glen Hellman the #1 Angel Investor in the United States according to Tech Cocktail (tech.co) readers? Actually, no he wasn't and he, who is I, never was the #1 angel anywhere. He who is I, is (or am) also no longer an Angel Investor and the rest of this article describes why. Venture Capitalists - Let's blame the lack of startup funding on all the VC's who just don't "get it." Which isn't true if "it" is not understanding the value of a groovy app like Sick Weather. There is no it to get with apps like Trustify and Sick Weather.  The it that VCs do get however is the actually it that is the problem.  The it that is keeping them from actively investing in this region is that too few its have proven themselves to be worth it in DC as of late. That's why there used to be over 40 active VC's in this town and now there's only 4 or 5 or 6. The Government...

Evan Burfield Whispering in Sean Spicer's Ear

Evan Burfield… The Sean Spicer of #DCTech

The purchase of 1776 by Benjamin's Desk is heating up. As a result, Evan Burfield will be pushed out to sink or swim as the CEO of spun-out software company selling 1776's Union.  It's getting realer (Trumpian English) and closer. Yesterday, The Washington Business Journal's (WBJ), Andy Medici reported more details of a probable sale. His report kicked off by this Mr Cranky post from 2 days ago and additional sources. Good work, Andy!!! Quoting from the WBJ article, Evan Burfield, 1776 co-founder and CEO, repeatedly denied the news, saying there is no current deal or purchase with Benjamin's Desk. He said 1776 and Benjamin's Desk have had a "long-standing partnership," calling the combination "wild speculation." "We're always exploring different ways we can expand 1776's mission, but there is no imminent acquisition of 1776," he said. Today, after more discussions with even more sources, Andy reported the deal is likely to close next week. In today's article, Evan Burfield had his Kellyanne Conway-esque, spokesperson repeat the denial. Quoted from that article: [caption id="attachment_76106" align="aligncenter" width="900"] 1776 spokeswoman Morgan Gress also denied any deal or transaction of any kind on Wednesday.[/caption] (Note: Correction. The above picture incorrectly and understandably misidentified Morgan Gress in the above picture. Apparently, the picture is of...

Anne Coulter Safe Space

Safe Space Overload – A Generation of Wimps

What is a Safe Space? According to my google search: safe space noun a place or environment in which a person or category of people can feel confident that they will not be exposed to discrimination, criticism, harassment, or any other emotional or physical harm. "school must be a safe space for LGBT students." I support that principle that at-risk groups and individuals...

Stupid Investor Definition Danny Boice

Definition of a Stupid Investor Definition is a Danny Boice Trustify Investor

Want to know the definition of a stupid investor? Anyone who invested in Danny Boice and his Dumpster Fire excuse for a company, Trustify Why? Because unless you're looking for a tax write-off, you could have gotten a better return by pouring gasoline on your cash and setting a match to it. Why? Because if you had done any cursory research, you would have found that Danny is thief and a liar. Why? Because had you handed the money to me, I would have been upfront and told you I was going to use it to fund my luxurious lifestyle instead of putting it to work for you...

Evil - Fortify.VC

Trustify Lies and Washington Business Journal Bites

Yesterday, Andy Medici and the Washington Business Journal (WBJ) lowered the bar of business journalism by continuing to just reprint a Trustify Press Release instead of performing the any research. This story legitimizes the illegitimate. It's a disgrace. In yesterday's story Titled, Private detective startup Trustify adding 184 jobs in Arlington The WBJ embarrass themselves by aiding and abetting criminals. It's not the first time they've reprinted lies. It's not the first time I've pointed that out as you can see by this post: Washington Business Journal Buys Danny Boice Lies. Let's try and make sense of the senseless by quoting the WBJ in blue and rewriting to reflect reality. WBJ: "On-demand private investigator platform Trustify is spending $1.04 million to create 184 new jobs in Arlington, according to a joint press release by the startup and Gov. Terry McAuliffe’s office." Mr Cranky: "Highly-unreliable Dumpster fire formerly and more aptly known as Trustify assert they will spend $1.04 million to create 184 new jobs. They will spend the money to hire people to take care of their children, mow their lawn, clean their house, chauffeur them around and be personal servants...

A History Of Malfeasance – Peter Noce (updated 9/13/17)

Part 4 the final episode of A History of Malfeasance - Peter Noce Peter Noce, AKA Peter J. Noce, AKA Jay Noce, AKA Peter Joseph Noce The first 3 parts of this story focused extensively on Ikimbo, throughout the story a shadowy figure Peter Noce keeps popping up. Ikimbo Part 1 - I replace a CEO who threatened to quit if we didn't, in his words "sell," in reality give away Ikimbo to a company DDLabs run by Peter Noce Ikimbo Part 2 - I discover an email documenting a deal where the Ikimbo CEO would get partial ownership in Peter Noce's company DDLabs if and when the DDLabs "acquired" Ikimbo. Ikimbo Part 3 - Peter Noce's, DDLabs, Ikimbo's outsourced software development company gives away Ikimbo's Intellectual Property to a competitor. Part 1 - 3 have one thing in common...

Jonathon Perrelli Bottle

Jonathon Perrelli Epilogue Part 3 (revised)

Prologue to the Jonathon Perrelli Epilogue Two weeks ago, I posted the first of a 3 part series Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC Part 1 with a follow up Part 2 last week. Yup there goes Mr Cranky picking on a poor pioneer of DC's Startup Ecosystem. Not one of the people who protested about the series did so by refuting any of the facts presented in those posts. JP didn't respond to my request for information, nor did he reply in comments, except possibly under a the pseudonym "goonsquad" in the comment section of the first post. All of the folks who protested my first two blog post, protested with the same response...