Is Jonathon Perrelli’s LifeFuels About To Become a Company?

(Updated 5:51 PM August 29, 2019) Hallelujah, Jonathon Perrelli! Yes! Yes! Yesssssssss! It's happy days for LifeFuels investors. According to an article first reported by Andy Medici in the  Washington Business Journal, Jonathon Perrelli's, LifeFuels will be shipping product at some yet to be identified mythical time in the not so distant near future like perhaps some time on some unspecified day this September...

I think I might have hurt Ram Reddy’s feelings

My Apology To Ram Reddy, Former Chairman of the Board of Communiclique Hi Ram, I just got the note from your Attorney (see PDF below). It sounds like I hurt your feelings and you think I've been telling untruths about you. I also was informed that it is your contention that you are a victim of the Communiclique fraud and if that is true I'm sorry that you were taken advantage of. I'm also sorry that you didn't know that you were repeating falsehoods (Because I'm feeling contrite and not Cranky you might have noticed that I just didn't call you a liar) when you told prospective investors of Clique's most excellent customer wins and boasted that revenue was in the tens of millions and that the company was growing and worth a billion dollars which might have motivated your friends and associates to invest and now those people join you as victims. Darn, I bet you wish you checked your facts. I know your trusted confidants who invested based on your word sure as shit wish you did. Well, buddy, your attorney seems to feel that I got the story wrong and if that's true, I'm really sorry. Probably not as...

LifeFuels Moonshot

In 1962, a young, charismatic President Kennedy announced an ambitious plan. "First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth." John F. Kennedy, September 12 1962 Seven years later, Kennedy was not with us to hear these famous words. "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Niel Armstrong, July, 20 1969 It was an ambitious plan. In fact, to this day, ambitious plans are often called moon shots. By setting an ambitious goal, American scientists and engineers pushed the envelope of science. Kennedy's dream was realized. In 2014, a bombastic, charismatic, buffoonish "entrepreneur," Jonathon Perrelli announced his slightly less ambitious Moon Shot. "First, I beleive that this company should commit istelf to acheiving the goal, before this decade is out, of making a water bottle and avoid the hoots and howls of Mr. Cranky." Jonathon Perrelli, April Fools Day, 2014 More than Five years later, just nipping under the wire of the end of the decade, LifeFuels Announces, "We're kicking off our Pilot Program on June 12th." LifeFuels Yes according to an email from LifeFuels, Dear LifeFueler Subject: Pilot Program Details You will be provided with a Bottle,...

Love Your Haters

You have to love your haters. If you're a person of principle. If you're true to your values. Then you have to love your haters. That's the reason I was flattered the other day when a semi-literate, inarticulate, hater created a web site that pays homage to Mr. Cranky. Thank you whomever you are. You're a hater and you have to love your haters. Oh wait...

Scam Alert: ExecMagic

Warning! Warning! Warning! ExecMagic is another company, much like AdvisoryCloud, which use to be ExecRanks, prays on people's desire to sit on boards (see AdvisoryCloud post here). It seems like AdvisoryCloud/ExecRanks, ExecMagic monetizes executives hopes and dreams of becoming a board member without much success of that exec obtaining a board seat. A couple of weeks ago, this cockwaffle, Tom Cook from ExecMagic messaged me from my website (see below). Thomas A Cook II ( Tom) from ExecMagic - Best practices Tuesday, April 16⋅5:00 – 6:00 pm email: cooktom411@gmail.com Description: Attendee: Thomas A Cook II ( Tom) Subject: Best practices‌ Phone: 530 693 4155 Information entered by the customer: I am looking for some coaching on how to do my job better and more efficient. June 6, 2019 Update: I just found out that Tom Cook is a fake name used by multiple salespeople at ExecMagic. Abra Cadabra, Poof, your name is now Thomas A Cook II...

Heard Around DC Startups

Ah DC Startups, the red-headed, bastard, stepchildren of the startup world. For instance, the other day I read a quote by a guy. In terms of DC Startups, this guy is a successful founder with a good, relative to other DC Startups exits.  I like and respect this guy and his current company.  Yet, the quote was a perfect example of the ridiculous, over-the-top, kind of sound bites it takes to get ink or bits in the startup press in the wastelands of DC Startups. This quote inspired me to pick on all the pronouncements and predictions from DC's "prestigious" prognosticators. Here's the quote that inspired me, "We have the DNA of a billion dollar company" I have the DNA of a Neanderthal (2.7 % of my DNA to be precise) but that doesn't make me a caveman. Nope, I'm a caveman because I have failed to evolve. So to the CEO of the double-helix DNA company, you have the DNA of a decent company but you aren't the next Uber of Uber. On the other hand, you aren't Lifefuels...