Driven Forward DCTech 2019 Gift Calendar

What's the perfect holiday gift for DCTech Startup Fans? It's the Mr Cranky, 2019 Gift Calendar! Feel free to print this out and make your own or if you prefer, you can contact me and order your officially printed version. Printed, bound and sent to your address for just $19.99. Want to order one, contact me here. Tell me how many you want and I'll be in touch. Remember, if you'd like one, contact me here!...

Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass

World of #DCTech Update

Hi, #DCTech Mr. Sunshine here with a World of #DCTech Update. If you've been reading DCInno then you probably have no idea what's happening in the startup community in this town so it's time for a #DCTech update on what's really happening. Social Tables - The big news is a sweet exit for Social Tables. Congratulations Dan Berger on an exceptional job. The deal should certainly be labeled a win returning 7X to most investors. This investor is very happy. I'm sure the VCs are pleased and yet not ecstatic because the deal falls short of the 10X plus target of most investors. Yet as a #DCTech Update, this is a big win and a cash deal at that! This is a glass fully full as far as I'm concerned. Trackmaven - The Trackmaven "merger" on the other hand...

Pulling Weeds in the DC Startup Garden

If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden and all the startups were plant life, the good companies would be flowers, especially Urban Stems and Bloompop that happen to sell flowers. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden than the DC Startup Tech "Journalists" would be the farmers who shine sunlight and spread manure in our gardens. "Journalists" from Tecnical.ly DC and DCInno do a great job of spreading the crap. They indiscriminately spread life-giving nutrients to all plants be they flowers or weeds. That's great because every garden needs fertilizer. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden it would be a small garden and unfortunately, this garden is over-fertilized with poo and is infested with weeds. The weeds you ask? They are companies like Trustify, Chalant Health, Union, and LifeFuels, with "Venture Craptial" firms like 3Si, with false prophets like Paul Singh, Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli. they are the second tier, phonies who don't even qualify to the 1st class huckster status like, Jason Feimster, Matthew Pugsley, and Janet Ridgely. To the outright abusive criminals like Andy Powers, Danny Boice, and Jen Mellon. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden, this garden would need a gardener willing to get his or her...

What A Crock Of Startup Bullshit

I can't take it anymore. I can no longer continue ignoring Paul Singh's startup bullshit disguised as wisdom. Folks in the know keep forwarding to me ridiculous articles, stupid investments, and silly tweets of Paul's. One of his latest gems, a blog post titled, "You (probably) don't need a MVP, You need a list"  forwared to me with the subject line, Do You Believe This Shit? Yes, I sure as shit do because I consider the source. It's Paul Singh, the "prestigious," prestidigitating street performer from the traveling medicine show of startup bullshit. The man who packed up all his earthly possessions into an Airstream trailer, left DC and his Family behind in a cloud of dust. Just in time to beat the crowd of investors and entrepreneurs armed with pitchforks who showed up at his castle (see actual photo below)! [caption id="attachment_78750" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Actual Photo Of DCTech Investors on the way to Paul's House Before They Found Out He Skipped Town[/caption] Since then, he's been traveling to other startup boonies posing as the one-eyed man of startup bullshit in the land of the startup blind. He's the guru of getting it done in startup backwaters like Utica, Kitchenoo, Port Huron, Tallahassee,...

Matthew Pugsley Scofflaw and Felon

Right now as I write this Matthew Pugsley is in court. Once again this crook is defending himself for non-payment. Just a quick check of the Fairfax County District Court for Pugsley the CEO of Chalant Health shows that Pugsley has been involved in 12 Court Actions involving 9 different cases since 2009. Count them 12. Four of those involve Matthew Pugsley being evicted (Unlawful Detainer). Case # Plaintiff Defendant Date Case Judgment Case Type GV17012863-00 CARLOCK, DOUG PUGSLEY, MATTHEW 07/21/17 Plaintiff Unlawful Detainer GV14018989-01 WEBSTER, DAVID E PUGSLEY, MATTHEW 01/08/15 Closed Garnishment GV14018989-02 WEBSTER, DAVID E PUGSLEY, MATTHEW 01/08/15 Closed Garnishment GV14018989-00 WEBSTER, DAVID E PUGSLEY, MATTHEW 10/24/14 Plaintiff Unlawful Detainer GV13021708-00 KANG, DIANA S PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 11/01/13 Non-suit Warrant In Debt GV12014854-01 MILLER, MARGARET PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 09/18/12 Closed Interrogatory/Judge GV12014854-00 MILLER, MARGARET PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 07/20/12 Plaintiff Unlawful Detainer GV10031048-00 DELL FINANCIAL SERVICES LLC PUGSLEY, MATTHEW 07/06/11 Non-suit Warrant In Debt GV10015563-00 JORMANDY LLC ASSIGNEE OF CHASE BANK USA NA PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 02/02/11 Plaintiff Warrant In Debt GV10031784-00 COUNTRY CLUB OF FAIRFAX PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 01/12/11 Not Found/Unserved Warrant In Debt GV10021600-00 DEUTSCHE BANK TRUST COMPANY AMERICAS PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 09/23/10 Non-suit Unlawful Detainer GV08030274-00 BB&T FINANCIAL FSB PUGSLEY, MATTHEW Q 02/27/09 Plaintiff Warrant In Debt Regarding Eviction Case Number : GV14018989-00 Judgement against Pugsley Judgment : Plaintiff Costs : $46.00 Attorney Fees : 2,112.00 Principal Amount : $10,560.00 Other Amount : Interest Award : 6% FROM 102414 Possession : Possession Writ Regarding Eviction Case Number: GV17012863-00  Judgment : Plaintiff Costs : $70.00 Attorney Fees : -0- Principal Amount : $23,333.34 Other Amount : Interest Award : 6% INTEREST FROM 072117 Regarding Eviction Case Number : GV08030274-00 Judgment :...

Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass

Sometimes I Have To Admit, #DCTech Isn’t So Bad

[caption id="attachment_60126" align="alignright" width="150"] Fake Grimlock holding a can of WhoopAss[/caption] When it comes to DCTech, ya'll, well, any of ya'll in DCTech who have ever read my screeds know that Mr. Cranky is a Glass Half Full kind of guy and that Half Full Glass is usually Half Full of Urine. Now, most of you are thinking that Mr. Cranky, is from New Jersey by way of Brooklyn before Brooklyn was as our President would say, "Infested," with hipsters, just used the word ya'll and you're wondering WTF so I'm going to tell you WFT, and TF is that the word, ya'll empowers me to say things like "Bless Your Heart," instead of the New Jerseyian equivalent which is, F$3K OFF! Hows that for some stream of consciousness bit spewing vomit (the first person to correctly diagram the proceeding sentences gets a free can of Mr. Cranky Driven Forward Whoopass as pictured here). Today I'm here to Praise DCTech and not to bury her. In the last 2 weeks, I've serendipitously managed to meet several DCTech Real Startup Founders. Here are companies that will make my next release of "100 DCTech Companies I Don't Hate." Nakul Manjal - Status Identity. provides powerful Multi-Factor Adaptive User Authentication by creating a...

Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart

I have been collecting a bunch of Random Rants that don't warrant a singular blog post so I thought I'd get them all out at once.  So here we go with Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart. The Peter Noce Affair - My Mobile Phone Rings...