LifeFuels Moonshot

In 1962, a young, charismatic President Kennedy announced an ambitious plan. "First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth." John F. Kennedy, September 12 1962 Seven years later, Kennedy was not with us to hear these famous words. "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Niel Armstrong, July, 20 1969 It was an ambitious plan. In fact, to this day, ambitious plans are often called moon shots. By setting an ambitious goal, American scientists and engineers pushed the envelope of science. Kennedy's dream was realized. In 2014, a bombastic, charismatic, buffoonish "entrepreneur," Jonathon Perrelli announced his slightly less ambitious Moon Shot. "First, I beleive that this company should commit istelf to acheiving the goal, before this decade is out, of making a water bottle and avoid the hoots and howls of Mr. Cranky." Jonathon Perrelli, April Fools Day, 2014 More than Five years later, just nipping under the wire of the end of the decade, LifeFuels Announces, "We're kicking off our Pilot Program on June 12th." LifeFuels Yes according to an email from LifeFuels, Dear LifeFueler Subject: Pilot Program Details You will be provided with a Bottle,...

Morally Bankrupt Communiclique Declared Financially Bankrupt

This Morning, in a Deleware Court, Communiclique declared financially bankrupt by a judge. Communiclique (AKA Clique & CliqueAPI) CEO, Founder and Board Member, Andy Powers did not show up in court as the judge had ordered. Based on the fraudulent evidence, the judge referred Andy Powers to the US Attorney's office on criminal charges. Game On! Or Game Off! Or where the hell was Andy Powers? Let the Games Begin! In addition, the judge declared Andy Powers, big shot, big-time business guy, master of the universe, financially bankrupt...

The This of the Thats

There are more than a few overdone phrases in the startup world that drive me nuts. I hate the intersections as in we're at the intersection,  "we're  at the intersection of tech and sustainability," courtesy of the Shelton Group, or "we're at the intersection of absurdity and buffoonery," courtesy of LifeFuels. Or how about, "We're the Tinder of Uber (for people who want to date Uber Drivers). But nothing makes me crazier than the "We are the This of the Thats." But before I get to that, I have this great product idea! I'm talking as good as the 3rd Love Bra or the Stupid Socks that come in shoe sizes instead of small, medium-large. Here's my idea, it's the 3rd Love Bra of Socks. Shoes come in Left and Right...

DCTech Startup Crime Update

It's that time again for the DCTech Startup Crime Update. Lots of little movement with the Crooks and Criminals of DCTech but not enough to warrant a single subject blog and therefore I'm going to provide a general DCTech Startup Crime Update on multiple happenings around DCTech. DCTech Startup Crime Update -Existing Projects Andy Powers and Communiclique (Clique, CliqueAPI) - Every month that Andy doesn't live rent-free on the federally funded 3 hots and a cot program, costs his investors a ton of evaporating capital including the $35 thousand per month rent on his home (see home and court details).  On Monday 4/29, Andy Power's lawyer showed up just prior to the 4 PM deadline with the data to prove that the company was a legitimate business. The invoices submitted were obviously fraudulent...

Retail Tectonic Shifts and a few Yuks

Retail Tectonic Shifts? Is Mr. Cranky going to talk about what's happening in Germany? No that's Teutonic Shifts.  This is the kind of shirt that takes place when the earth's floating tectonic plates mash together and shake the world. Shit is happening in retail. Some of it good. Most of it bad. In this post, true to form, Mr. Cranky briefly touches on the good but will hammer home the bad effects of retail tectonic shifts. Amazon - Retail Tectonic Shifts Amazon - The Good: Have a stupid idea in your head and search it on Amazon and there it is...

When You Block Me…

Devin Nunes, a congressman is suing Twitter and two twitter characters named @DevinNuneMom (suspended) and @DevinCow for defamation and seeking $250 million in damages. Is that what you call a snowflake (help out Deven's Cow and donate)? I talked to my attorney last night. The lawsuit can be expensive, but I’m determined to fight it. Devin should not be allowed to stop free speech. Can you please help me? Thank you 💗🐮 https://t.co/I9Ko944Ptr — Devin Nunes’ cow (@DevinCow) March 28, 2019 Why doesn't he just block them? I don't block people on Twitter...

LifeFuels is a Punchline to a Joke.

LifeFuels is entering its 5th year as a company. Actually, LifeFuels is not a company, it's a punchline to a joke. What do you call a company that has been in business for 5 years and has no product, no sales, no nothing of any value except for press releases? Lifefuels is not a company, LifeFuels is a punchline to a joke. On April Fools Day, 2014, Life Fool Jonathon Perrelli founded LifeFuels...

An Idea is not a Company

An idea is not a company. It does not matter if it's a bad idea, like a $200 battery operated Jonathon Perrelli (JP) designed water bottle and connected phone app that feeds fuel pods to humans (in other words a glorified liquid PEZ dispenser). A bad idea is not a company just as a great idea like sliced bread is not a company. There are several requirements to qualify as a legitimate company and those requirements include engaged constituents, team members, customers, industry partners. and a product. Sorry JP, but an idea is not a product and LifeFuels is simply a bad idea with no product, no customers and no sales is neither a product nor company. The other day, I was approached by young ideator (having an idea does not make you an entrepreneur), in search of the answer to the question, how to turn his idea into a company. He began his presentation by citing all the societal and health benefits of his product. They were easy to understand and yes, it could improve health outcomes. I got his point in two minutes. It was a good idea. Unfortunately for him, an Idea is not a company. Now even though I kept assuring the...