DCTech Startup Crime Update

It's that time again for the DCTech Startup Crime Update. Lots of little movement with the Crooks and Criminals of DCTech but not enough to warrant a single subject blog and therefore I'm going to provide a general DCTech Startup Crime Update on multiple happenings around DCTech. DCTech Startup Crime Update -Existing Projects Andy Powers and Communiclique (Clique, CliqueAPI) - Every month that Andy doesn't live rent-free on the federally funded 3 hots and a cot program, costs his investors a ton of evaporating capital including the $35 thousand per month rent on his home (see home and court details).  On Monday 4/29, Andy Power's lawyer showed up just prior to the 4 PM deadline with the data to prove that the company was a legitimate business. The invoices submitted were obviously fraudulent...

Retail Tectonic Shifts and a few Yuks

Retail Tectonic Shifts? Is Mr. Cranky going to talk about what's happening in Germany? No that's Teutonic Shifts.  This is the kind of shirt that takes place when the earth's floating tectonic plates mash together and shake the world. Shit is happening in retail. Some of it good. Most of it bad. In this post, true to form, Mr. Cranky briefly touches on the good but will hammer home the bad effects of retail tectonic shifts. Amazon - Retail Tectonic Shifts Amazon - The Good: Have a stupid idea in your head and search it on Amazon and there it is...

Mia Culpa Jason Calacanis

Mia Culpa Jason Calacanis which I think translates from the original Italian to "That's my Coffee Jason Calacanis." For those of you who don't know, Jason Calacanis is a guy who heard the words of Horace Greeley, "Go West Young Man." Yes, one day this guy from Brooklyn, prior to the hipsterfication of Brooklyn, you know when Brooklyn was still inhabited with urban hillbillies, struck startup unicorn gold and then packed up his bags and moved about 400 miles north of Beverly (that's a Beverly Hillbillies reference). Why Mia Culpa? To catch you up from our last episode of Mr. Cranky is an Asshole in which I trashed Jason's Angel University (see episode one here) and took some cheap yet self amusing shots. You know self amusing, which is to comedy what masturbation is to making love. The Jason Calacanis Empire Jason Calacanis is one of many startup gurus who has built a startup conglomerate consisting of multiple branches: Launch Accelerator - a startup accelerator which competes with my Brake Decelerator Launch Angel Investment Syndicators - this is similar to the kind of syndicates that Paul Singh puts together except, Jason Calacanis is not an idiot, he's not full of shit,  he has...

The Startup Gurus or In Defense of Jason Calacanis

Last week, in an attempt to make a point, and in a lame attempt at humor, while making said point, I took cheap, but funny, at least funny to me, but probably not quite as funny to Jason, shots at Jason Calacanis. Let me apologize for one thing, as Startup Gurus go, Jason Calacanis is one of the best. The reason I took issue with Jason in that blog was questioning the value of a $500, four-hour meeting promoted to teach people how to become professional angel investors (see post here). Jason good-naturedly engaged in the dialogue and showed his metal. He displayed a sense of humor, a sense of self, he acted consistent with his public display of ego. He didn't cower and pretend he was above criticism. He defended himself and didn't block the messenger. The difference between a Jason Calacanis and phony Startup Gurus like Jonathon Perrelli is that Jp's self-image doesn't match his public display of ego. He knows he's a fraud. He knows his actions are indefensible so instead of engaging and responding to criticism he closes his ears. Jason's value includes his network of contacts, success in investing, and thoughtful content which makes Jason the real deal while the...

Bullshit – Jason Calacanis Angel University

It's difficult to make money in Angel Investing. Most Angels lose money. For people who want to spend money to learn how to lose money, there is Jason Calacanis Angel University. Because if you're willing to flush cash down a toilet, why not flush some of that cash down the Jason Calacanis Angel University toilet. Wait just one cotton-picking minute Glenbo, you Cranky old fart...

When You Block Me…

Devin Nunes, a congressman is suing Twitter and two twitter characters named @DevinNuneMom (suspended) and @DevinCow for defamation and seeking $250 million in damages. Is that what you call a snowflake (help out Deven's Cow and donate)? I talked to my attorney last night. The lawsuit can be expensive, but I’m determined to fight it. Devin should not be allowed to stop free speech. Can you please help me? Thank you 💗🐮 https://t.co/I9Ko944Ptr — Devin Nunes’ cow (@DevinCow) March 28, 2019 Why doesn't he just block them? I don't block people on Twitter...

Kyle Sandler Can’t Make It Anywhere

Queue up the song, New York, New York! If you can make it there, you'll make it everywhere. Kyle Sandler couldn't make it there. Kyle Sandler couldn't legally make it anywhere. Kyle Sandler better hope he can make it in prison...

Heard Around DC Startups

Ah DC Startups, the red-headed, bastard, stepchildren of the startup world. For instance, the other day I read a quote by a guy. In terms of DC Startups, this guy is a successful founder with a good, relative to other DC Startups exits.  I like and respect this guy and his current company.  Yet, the quote was a perfect example of the ridiculous, over-the-top, kind of sound bites it takes to get ink or bits in the startup press in the wastelands of DC Startups. This quote inspired me to pick on all the pronouncements and predictions from DC's "prestigious" prognosticators. Here's the quote that inspired me, "We have the DNA of a billion dollar company" I have the DNA of a Neanderthal (2.7 % of my DNA to be precise) but that doesn't make me a caveman. Nope, I'm a caveman because I have failed to evolve. So to the CEO of the double-helix DNA company, you have the DNA of a decent company but you aren't the next Uber of Uber. On the other hand, you aren't Lifefuels...

LifeFuels is a Punchline to a Joke.

LifeFuels is entering its 5th year as a company. Actually, LifeFuels is not a company, it's a punchline to a joke. What do you call a company that has been in business for 5 years and has no product, no sales, no nothing of any value except for press releases? Lifefuels is not a company, LifeFuels is a punchline to a joke. On April Fools Day, 2014, Life Fool Jonathon Perrelli founded LifeFuels...

An Idea is not a Company

An idea is not a company. It does not matter if it's a bad idea, like a $200 battery operated Jonathon Perrelli (JP) designed water bottle and connected phone app that feeds fuel pods to humans (in other words a glorified liquid PEZ dispenser). A bad idea is not a company just as a great idea like sliced bread is not a company. There are several requirements to qualify as a legitimate company and those requirements include engaged constituents, team members, customers, industry partners. and a product. Sorry JP, but an idea is not a product and LifeFuels is simply a bad idea with no product, no customers and no sales is neither a product nor company. The other day, I was approached by young ideator (having an idea does not make you an entrepreneur), in search of the answer to the question, how to turn his idea into a company. He began his presentation by citing all the societal and health benefits of his product. They were easy to understand and yes, it could improve health outcomes. I got his point in two minutes. It was a good idea. Unfortunately for him, an Idea is not a company. Now even though I kept assuring the...