DCA Live Red Hot Not

Last week I noticed a posting from a friend about DCA Live on Twitter. It got me thinking, which is something I try to do every 10 years or so. What the hell is a DCA Live? Here's what I saw on Twitter: Awesome event! Congrats to the nominees!! Great list of top tech cos in DC!! — Tien Wong (@tienwong) July 10, 2018 Just wondering? What qualifies as a red hot company? If I started a company, April 2015, burned through $3 million and produced no product...

Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass

Sometimes I Have To Admit, #DCTech Isn’t So Bad

[caption id="attachment_60126" align="alignright" width="150"] Fake Grimlock holding a can of WhoopAss[/caption] When it comes to DCTech, ya'll, well, any of ya'll in DCTech who have ever read my screeds know that Mr. Cranky is a Glass Half Full kind of guy and that Half Full Glass is usually Half Full of Urine. Now, most of you are thinking that Mr. Cranky, is from New Jersey by way of Brooklyn before Brooklyn was as our President would say, "Infested," with hipsters, just used the word ya'll and you're wondering WTF so I'm going to tell you WFT, and TF is that the word, ya'll empowers me to say things like "Bless Your Heart," instead of the New Jerseyian equivalent which is, F$3K OFF! Hows that for some stream of consciousness bit spewing vomit (the first person to correctly diagram the proceeding sentences gets a free can of Mr. Cranky Driven Forward Whoopass as pictured here). Today I'm here to Praise DCTech and not to bury her. In the last 2 weeks, I've serendipitously managed to meet several DCTech Real Startup Founders. Here are companies that will make my next release of "100 DCTech Companies I Don't Hate." Nakul Manjal - Status Identity. provides powerful Multi-Factor Adaptive User Authentication by creating a...

Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart

I have been collecting a bunch of Random Rants that don't warrant a singular blog post so I thought I'd get them all out at once.  So here we go with Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart. The Peter Noce Affair - My Mobile Phone Rings...

Matthew Pugsley is a conman and he Strikes Again

Matthew Pugsley is a conman. Not everyone knows this about him as evidenced by a phone call I just had with a friend. This buddy, who shall remain nameless, was recently at a cocktail party where he met a guy who had no idea Matthew Pugsley is a conman. Over drinks and small talk their conversation went something like this: Sucker: "So what do you do?" Friend: "I'm a Venture Capitlist." Sucker: "Really? I just made my first venture investment." Friend: "In what company?" Sucker: "A little company called Chalant Health. I don't know much about it or how they're doing but my boss invested six figures." <Awkward Silence as Friend struggles not to lose his drink through his nose> Friend: "You know you might want to google them." Hey Sucker, let me google that for you! Try this link. See how easy that was? Do you know what you would have learned had you done that before you stroked a check? Matthew Pugsley is a conman. Let me make this perfectly clear, Pugsley ain't no businessman. Pugsley ain't no saint. Pugsley ain't no upstanding citizen. Matthew Pugsley is a conman, and Chalant Health is a house of cards. This isn't Matt's first con. This isn't Matt's first company from which he embezzled...

Render To Ceasar And Perrelli of LifeFuels

It's easy to bash someone who has spent four years and five million dollars resulting in nothing like Jonathan Perrelli of LifeFuels has done. Up until yesterday after four years of work and after spending Five Million dollars, Perrelli of Lifefuels has developed the following significant important results: Reportedly raised $5 Million Dollars A 2016 Office Envy Award from the Crack Journalists at DC Inno (link here) - Because taking investor cash and spending it on a really cool office has always been proven to deliver superior investor returns...

The TrustFuels Tesla Give-away!

For the last few years, I've been railing against the crooks, criminals, and clowns of DCTech and you know what? I think I got it wrong. I should learn from the insane clown posse that is DCTech and create my own Blue Ocean version of a Wolves of Startupland Startup. [caption id="attachment_77580" align="aligncenter" width="1024"] DC Tech Meetup[/caption] That's why I looked at two of DCTech's most "successful" startups. That is if success is to be judged by PR and income for the founders and not building a valuable company. With this in mind, I decided to create my own version of a DCTech success. First, let's look at the companies from which I modeled my new company, TrustFuels: Trustify - A company that raised $5 Million and spent approximately 30% of the money to deliver their product. The company is wildly unprofitable, hemorrhaging investor cash and yet the criminals who run the company, Cruella Jen Mellon and her husband Prison Tatted Danny Boice (Remember when he wasted investor money to sue me for telling the truth and then ran away with his tail between his stubby legs? That was fun!) live like Royalty. This company is reported nearly out of cash and needs to raise more...

3Si Phony VC

Everyone Who Knows Anything, Knows 3Si Phony VC is a Sham. Well, everyone except the local tech rags. With them, when it comes to that "knowing" thing, there appears to be a problem. These Tech "journalists" either don't know much or don't care about sharing letting what they know to get in the way of a story on deadline. The problem in DC is that too many of the "journalists" at rags like Technically DC and DCInno simply reprint bullshit without doing research. So when they post an article like this one, "WeWork’s veterans-in-residence program expands to DC," by Technically DC or this one, "The 10 Entrepreneurs in WeWork’s First D.C. Veterans in Residence Program," by DCInno the damage the very ecosystem of which they claim to be supporters. I reached out to one, count them, one, of the listed "Team Members" on the 3Si Web Page to ask about his relationship with 3Si. His response, "I Read your 3Si expo. I’m unfortunately linked with them and can’t seem to distance myself. One of the comments you posted came from my client. I Also have a second client that 3Si attempted to screw." I'm no journalist, yet, in doing a modest amount of research I...