Pulling Weeds in the DC Startup Garden

If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden and all the startups were plant life, the good companies would be flowers, especially Urban Stems and Bloompop that happen to sell flowers. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden than the DC Startup Tech "Journalists" would be the farmers who shine sunlight and spread manure in our gardens. "Journalists" from Tecnical.ly DC and DCInno do a great job of spreading the crap. They indiscriminately spread life-giving nutrients to all plants be they flowers or weeds. That's great because every garden needs fertilizer. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden it would be a small garden and unfortunately, this garden is over-fertilized with poo and is infested with weeds. The weeds you ask? They are companies like Trustify, Chalant Health, Union, and LifeFuels, with "Venture Craptial" firms like 3Si, with false prophets like Paul Singh, Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli. they are the second tier, phonies who don't even qualify to the 1st class huckster status like, Jason Feimster, Matthew Pugsley, and Janet Ridgely. To the outright abusive criminals like Andy Powers, Danny Boice, and Jen Mellon. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden, this garden would need a gardener willing to get his or her...

Jonathon Perrelli LifeFuels Life Fool

What do you do if you're Jonathon Perrelli, the LifeFuels Life Fool, and Mr. Cranky won't stop pointing out how much of your investor's money you wasted promoting your product and yourself. How do you counter my frequent mocking because you've focused so little time creating a product? How do you counter Mr Cranky making fun of all the money and time wasted on meaningless pay-to-play awards like a CES innovation award (see post)? A competent rational person would stop focusing on self-promotion and start focusing on building real value. An intelligent strategic person would stop producing so much mock-worthy material. But a LifeFuels Life Fool would just try to block my access to his buffoonery. He'd block every person who follows Mr. Cranky on Twitter, everyone who has ever left a supportive comment on my blog posts (more about that later). This fool would block me from his social media feeds in the hopes that he could hide from critical scrutiny. JP is a snowflake too timid to face the truth. A man who craves affirmation and runs from the truth. The problem with Mr. Perrelli, LifeFuels Life Fool is he's afraid to face facts. He is afraid to confront reality...

RIP 3Si VC

Today is a sad day for DCTech. It appears that one of our most active, if the tonnage that one bullshits qualifies as active, VCs is no more. Just take a look at the website. http://www.3siholdings.com and you see a blank WIX web site. Ha Wix, the preferred site of fakers, fools, and felons. Come on Jason, WIX sites cost as much as $0...

Hear Trustify’s Jen Mellon Lie on June 20th

Yes I know I'm talking about Jen Mellon, the horrible human masquerading as a do-gooder and founder of a great startup and wife of Danny Boice. For my regular readers, this is old hat and you don't have to read it. I know, I'm a bulldog with a bone that won't let go. This post is targeted for those who are not regular readers and who may be taken in by the classy facade of the rotting Potemkin Villiage that is Trustify and it's leaders. There is a group of people, sponsoring a talk by Mellon and these people who are putting their reputations on the line. I can only assume they haven't looked behind the curtain. These sponsors are aiding and abetting criminal activity by seeming to endorse two criminals. Want to hear a bunch of lies? Want to meet a pathological lying sociopath in person? Then come and hear Trustify's Jen Mellon lie about all kinds of things including how she retroactively founded a company (neat trick Jen Mellon). Multiple people forwarded to me the invitation pictured below. Not because they thought the meeting was worthwhile. Even  I, politically incorrect Mr. Cranky won't repeat the Samantha-Bee-Type-verbiage used in the emails making fun of this event featuring Jen...

Amazon HQ2 – The Race To Ruin a Region

In this economic environment of full employment, crumbling inadequate infrastructure, and a woeful lack of engineering talent, "Winning" the Amazon HQ2 beauty contest would be losing for Washington. If you think housing prices are already ridiculously high, traffic on 66 at 11 PM on a Sunday should not have bumper to bumper traffic jams and WMATA Metro is a great idea that would work if it wasn't more dysfunctional than Congress. Imagine what would happen when we add 50 thousand jobs...

Where Did The 3Si Team Go?

Hey! Wait just one minute! What happened? Where did my 3Si team go? What happened to the clowns on the bus? Where's my team? Jason Feimster has been running a long con, bait and switch game.  Pretending to be an entrepreneur. Pretending to be a VC. He has everything you need to be a VC. He has a name, URL, website, blogs, and a team...

Startup Sh#t Heard In #DCTech Lately

I've been out and about DCTech the past weeks and have heard an assload of bad pitches mixed in with an occasional good pitch. Some of the pitching clowns said some the craziest things and some pretendpreneurs drive me crazy with the silliness of it all...

Do Your Due Diligence – More 3Si Jason Feimster BS

Please, folks, do your Due Diligence!!! If you don't know what I'm talking about.. it means you haven't read any Mr. Cranky posts this year. Let me just say that I am mildly suspicious of Jason Feimster's bona fides as a Venture Capitalist. I am slightly skeptical regarding the legitimacy of calling 3Si a Venture Capital firm and not a raging burning pile of hippo poo. Recently when it comes to scumbag scam artists I was reminded that I can write enough posts exposing the same crooks. I must repeat myself constantly to expose the frauds and cheats that inhabit the startup world. For instance, after umpteen posts about Matthew Pugesly, pretend founder of pretend company Chalant Health some dope still invested, With all the work I do the world is still able to find gullible morons willing to invest in the only company in DC that might be worse than Danny Boice's Trustify. It's disheartening that even when I do your due diligence for you, some people won't go to the old google machine and find it. So I was pleasantly surprised to find someone that at the very least, knows how to use google and found my posts on Feimster and 3Si. I recently received this email: From: someone ...

Matthew Pugsley is a conman and he Strikes Again

Matthew Pugsley is a conman. Not everyone knows this about him as evidenced by a phone call I just had with a friend. This buddy, who shall remain nameless, was recently at a cocktail party where he met a guy who had no idea Matthew Pugsley is a conman. Over drinks and small talk their conversation went something like this: Sucker: "So what do you do?" Friend: "I'm a Venture Capitlist." Sucker: "Really? I just made my first venture investment." Friend: "In what company?" Sucker: "A little company called Chalant Health. I don't know much about it or how they're doing but my boss invested six figures." <Awkward Silence as Friend struggles not to lose his drink through his nose> Friend: "You know you might want to google them." Hey Sucker, let me google that for you! Try this link. See how easy that was? Do you know what you would have learned had you done that before you stroked a check? Matthew Pugsley is a conman. Let me make this perfectly clear, Pugsley ain't no businessman. Pugsley ain't no saint. Pugsley ain't no upstanding citizen. Matthew Pugsley is a conman, and Chalant Health is a house of cards. This isn't Matt's first con. This isn't Matt's first company from which he embezzled...

Render To Ceasar And Perrelli of LifeFuels

It's easy to bash someone who has spent four years and five million dollars resulting in nothing like Jonathan Perrelli of LifeFuels has done. Up until yesterday after four years of work and after spending Five Million dollars, Perrelli of Lifefuels has developed the following significant important results: Reportedly raised $5 Million Dollars A 2016 Office Envy Award from the Crack Journalists at DC Inno (link here) - Because taking investor cash and spending it on a really cool office has always been proven to deliver superior investor returns...