What A Crock Of Startup Bullshit

I can't take it anymore. I can no longer continue ignoring Paul Singh's startup bullshit disguised as wisdom. Folks in the know keep forwarding to me ridiculous articles, stupid investments, and silly tweets of Paul's. One of his latest gems, a blog post titled, "You (probably) don't need a MVP, You need a list"  forwared to me with the subject line, Do You Believe This Shit? Yes, I sure as shit do because I consider the source. It's Paul Singh, the "prestigious," prestidigitating street performer from the traveling medicine show of startup bullshit. The man who packed up all his earthly possessions into an Airstream trailer, left DC and his Family behind in a cloud of dust. Just in time to beat the crowd of investors and entrepreneurs armed with pitchforks who showed up at his castle (see actual photo below)! [caption id="attachment_78750" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Actual Photo Of DCTech Investors on the way to Paul's House Before They Found Out He Skipped Town[/caption] Since then, he's been traveling to other startup boonies posing as the one-eyed man of startup bullshit in the land of the startup blind. He's the guru of getting it done in startup backwaters like Utica, Kitchenoo, Port Huron, Tallahassee,...

Stupid Investor Definition Danny Boice

New Tip: Dumpster Fire Trustify

File this in the for what it's worth file for Trustify.  What follows is a transcript from a voicemail, I received at 6:05 PM, EDT on August 27, 2018. Signs of more layoffs and cost-cutting at Dumpster Fire Trustify. "Hey Mister Cranky, I've got something for you on Danny Boice, anonymous please. Mr. Boice has now lowered himself to firing via text the last above board employee he had. This employee was working endless hours. Fired late Saturday. As a direct result of that this employee is in ICU. All the while Mister Boice is sending Cort Furniture to try to empty the employees apartment for his rental furniture. He is the devil. Thank you." I can't vouch for the accuracy of the voicemail. Nor do I know the identity of the caller or the employee who was reportedly fired and is in the ICU. I would welcome any tips. Updated 12:24 PM, August 28, 20018: According to this tipster, Danny Dumpster Fire Boice, fired this person via text while the Danster was on vacation. Danny Boice like Donald Trump does not fire people in person. Supposedly there are only two people left working at the company. The creepy Mr. Matt De Leon, the clown oft referred to like...

Andy Powers – Friend of Danny Boice & Fellow Criminal

On March 16, 2018, the Commonwealth of Virginia's State Corporation Commision (SCC) filed against Andrew Brent Powers (AKA Andy Powers) and his company Comunniclique (DBA CliqueAPI) alleging multiple violations of the Virginia Securities Act. On July 13 of that year, the courts found Andy Powers guilty of 108 violations of the Act. Powers was also was found guilty of failing to respond to a subpoena.  That basically means he's on the run and did not appear to defend himself. Originally CliqueAPI and Powers mounted an aggressive defense and then in April, Power's Attornies, The Aegis Law Group, filed (see filing) that they were withdrawing from counsel on this case. Did Powers run out of money to pay for representation or were his attorney's alarmed that he was not acting in good faith? It seems like from that time, Andy was non-responsive to the case. According to court records, Tom Bayly, a senior investigator with the SCC, Division of Securities and Retail Franchising testified that the Division received a complaint in the fall of 2016 from the accountant of one of  CommuniClique's (AKA Clique and Clique API) investors regarding several irregularities. Subsequent investigations found that Powers was reporting to prospective and existing investors in CommuniClique, that...

Jen Mellon is Unfaithful

Mr. Cranky opens up his mail today. And today's entry from Mr. Cranky's mailbag is from a first time writer who submits the case that Jen Mellon is unfaithful. I'm sorry fans, but Mr. Cranky doesn't control his incoming mail so once again we talk the Trustify Danny Boice and Jen Mellon story. Many people will tell me that this is a tawdry tale that has nothing to do with business. As a business coach, I will tell you that I have dealt with failed execution based on a business principal going through marital distress. A company, even a good company can be in trouble when the leader is going through personal strife. In the case of Trustify, a case where the two most senior executives are married, that marital stress can destroy a company. This is a story that affects the business. What is Faith? Jen Mellon, alledged cofounder of Trustify proclaims to be a woman of faith. She claims to be born again. Yet all who know her intimately will share that Jen Mellon is unfaithful to her faith. Jen Mellon cheats and lies to her investors. She uses money intended to build Trustify for personal use. For a lavish life....

Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass

Sometimes I Have To Admit, #DCTech Isn’t So Bad

[caption id="attachment_60126" align="alignright" width="150"] Fake Grimlock holding a can of WhoopAss[/caption] When it comes to DCTech, ya'll, well, any of ya'll in DCTech who have ever read my screeds know that Mr. Cranky is a Glass Half Full kind of guy and that Half Full Glass is usually Half Full of Urine. Now, most of you are thinking that Mr. Cranky, is from New Jersey by way of Brooklyn before Brooklyn was as our President would say, "Infested," with hipsters, just used the word ya'll and you're wondering WTF so I'm going to tell you WFT, and TF is that the word, ya'll empowers me to say things like "Bless Your Heart," instead of the New Jerseyian equivalent which is, F$3K OFF! Hows that for some stream of consciousness bit spewing vomit (the first person to correctly diagram the proceeding sentences gets a free can of Mr. Cranky Driven Forward Whoopass as pictured here). Today I'm here to Praise DCTech and not to bury her. In the last 2 weeks, I've serendipitously managed to meet several DCTech Real Startup Founders. Here are companies that will make my next release of "100 DCTech Companies I Don't Hate." Nakul Manjal - Status Identity. provides powerful Multi-Factor Adaptive User Authentication by creating a...

Hear Trustify’s Jen Mellon Lie on June 20th

Yes I know I'm talking about Jen Mellon, the horrible human masquerading as a do-gooder and founder of a great startup and wife of Danny Boice. For my regular readers, this is old hat and you don't have to read it. I know, I'm a bulldog with a bone that won't let go. This post is targeted for those who are not regular readers and who may be taken in by the classy facade of the rotting Potemkin Villiage that is Trustify and it's leaders. There is a group of people, sponsoring a talk by Mellon and these people who are putting their reputations on the line. I can only assume they haven't looked behind the curtain. These sponsors are aiding and abetting criminal activity by seeming to endorse two criminals. Want to hear a bunch of lies? Want to meet a pathological lying sociopath in person? Then come and hear Trustify's Jen Mellon lie about all kinds of things including how she retroactively founded a company (neat trick Jen Mellon). Multiple people forwarded to me the invitation pictured below. Not because they thought the meeting was worthwhile. Even  I, politically incorrect Mr. Cranky won't repeat the Samantha-Bee-Type-verbiage used in the emails making fun of this event featuring Jen...

Indiscriminate Indiscriminator

My mother always told me that If I couldn't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. Then one day, my sister asked my mother to brush her hair and I said, "Jeeze Cindy, even Helen Keller can comb her own hair." To which my dad picked up his belt took two quick steps towards me and I beat feet out of the house as fast as I could. Only to return in under the cover of night when clearer heads prevailed. I guess that wasn't a nice thing to say. Obviously, the lesson didn't sink in. As you noticed Mr. Cranky isn't Mr. Cranky because his praise to pwn (pronounced Pone) ratio is like 2:9 maybe even 1:9. Now let me tell you I don't bitch about everything or everyone I see. There are many times, I see stuff I want to ridicule and then I say to myself, Is what I'm pointing out a warning and a danger to others? Will it be a useful lesson? You know, like a "Beware of Dog Sign." Examples: is this Danny Boice or Jennifer Melon, abusing employees, cheating investors, abusing family members or is this a Jason Feimster and his pretend VC 3Si...