Kyle Sandler Can’t Make It Anywhere

Queue up the song, New York, New York! If you can make it there, you'll make it everywhere. Kyle Sandler couldn't make it there. Kyle Sandler couldn't legally make it anywhere. Kyle Sandler better hope he can make it in prison...

The Washington Post Non-Washington Business Coverage

The Washington Post has been asleep at the wheel in terms of covering the Startup world of DC. Granted, the startup world of DC has been comatose for some time. But while there are criminals and thieves plying their craft in DC, The Washington Post, is mum. But on October 12, 2018, the Washington Post's, Antonia Noori Farzan, woke up and penned an article about a minor crook in the Washington Suburbs of Fall River, Massachusetts. A DC suburb if 353 miles and a 5 1/2 hour drive is a commute. Yes, the paper which barely covers what is happening in business in DC didn't miss an opportunity to cover the curious inconsequential case of the 23-year-old Mayor-Elect of Falls River. The article: Elected mayor at 23 in struggling Fall River, Mass., Jasiel F. Correia II had the makings of a rising star — until Thursday (see link) As the post reports, "early Thursday morning, federal agents arrested Correia on charges that he stole almost a quarter of a million dollars from seven people who had invested in his start-up." Yet when local DC-based startup Comunniclique founder Andy Powers was found guilty of bilking local investors out of over $10 million dollars (which by my...

Cockroaches and Hand Grenades

When I was a young man, my first job out of Sales and Sales Management, was National Sales Operations Manager, which basically meant I was the VP of Sales, executive assistant (National Sales Operations Manager is to the Executive Assistant to the VP of Sales as the Chief of Staff is the Executive Assistant to the CEO. Its title inflation). Now, this VP was a former senior manager at Xerox, a notorious hyper-political organization and this guy, let's call him Jeff because Jeff was and probably still is his name was a puppet master extraordinaire. He would take a circuitous path to any goal...

3Si Phony VC

Everyone Who Knows Anything, Knows 3Si Phony VC is a Sham. Well, everyone except the local tech rags. With them, when it comes to that "knowing" thing, there appears to be a problem. These Tech "journalists" either don't know much or don't care about sharing letting what they know to get in the way of a story on deadline. The problem in DC is that too many of the "journalists" at rags like Technically DC and DCInno simply reprint bullshit without doing research. So when they post an article like this one, "WeWork’s veterans-in-residence program expands to DC," by Technically DC or this one, "The 10 Entrepreneurs in WeWork’s First D.C. Veterans in Residence Program," by DCInno the damage the very ecosystem of which they claim to be supporters. I reached out to one, count them, one, of the listed "Team Members" on the 3Si Web Page to ask about his relationship with 3Si. His response, "I Read your 3Si expo. I’m unfortunately linked with them and can’t seem to distance myself. One of the comments you posted came from my client. I Also have a second client that 3Si attempted to screw." I'm no journalist, yet, in doing a modest amount of research I...

Mr Cranky Startup Technology Resolution

Mr. Cranky’s DCTech Resolutions 2018

Are you ready for Mr. Cranky's DCTech Resolutions, 2018 edition? Last year, Mr. Cranky's DCTech Resolutions I made my typical Glass Half Empty, preponderance of prescient predigious predictions(see it here).  This year I'm going to try and be a little less Mr. Cranky DCTech Resolutions and a little more Mr. Glass Half Full, even though I paid for full glass at inflated Buojee bar prices (Okay Old Fart (OF), just for you...

executive coaches - whoopass

WhoopAss Thankfulness

On this Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for WhoopAss I'm thankful for: All the turds who have allowed me to blow off steam by opening a can of WhoopAss on them, especially Danny Boice, Jenifer Mellon, Evan Burfield and many more. For that lovely Demand Letter that loser Boice from Dumpster Fire Trustify sent me and all the fun my readers and I derived from that. I'm also very thankful that Boice couldn't afford a decent attorney! Thank you! For my readers and fans who feed me tips and information For all the authentic business people who are building real businesses and not working on the intersection of this and that thinking outside the box creating kickass communities disrupting the world innovating innovative inventions creating highly-segmented uber-nichey identity communities that exclude intelligent people of high character because they are the wrong, religion, ethnicity, national origin and emphasizing our differences in place of promoting inclusion (okay, maybe I'm just whining because there isn't a meetup for Cranky Old White Dudes and I feel slighted) Most of all I'm thankful for my clients, friends, and family In Celebration of my thankfulness, I'd like to highlight some of the folks who I've presented with unopened cans of WhoopAss...

#DCTech 1776 Merger or House Cleaning?

Is the Benjamin's Desk, 1776 Merger a merger or is it something else? The deal that has been in the works for 2 months finally closed today. After much consternation, wrangling and negotiated face-saving for the vanquished 1776, Benjamin's Desk kindly allowed Evan Burfield to pretend he's not been pushed out of that which he's burned to the ground. My sources report that Evan's face-saving measures have been a contributing factor in the delay of closing the deal. Is it a merger of equals? Well, it's a merger of equals if you don't take in to account 1776's dire financial straights and incredible operating losses under Evan Burfield's stewardship. It's a merger of equals if you want to insult Jennifer and Anthony Maher who appear to be growing a credible business.  It's a merger of equals if sick equals healthy. Here are the facts we know about the Benjamin's Desk - 1776 Merger The press release says it's a merger Press releases report spin...

The Rise and Fall of Evan Burfield – Part 1

How The Hell Did We Get Here - The Evan Burfield Story Evan Burfield is arguably one of the smartest people in any room. He's also proof that IQ points don't directly correlate with the ability to build and lead a company to a successful conclusion. 1995 NetDecide In 1995, Burfield was a freshly minted, 19-year-old, high school graduate of one of the countries most prestigious High Schools, Thomas Jefferson in Alexandria Virginia.  Post graduation, he skipped college and founded his first company, NetDecide. According to Burfield, he raised a million dollars in angel funding and eventually $20 million in total funding. To set some context of that period, this was after the big exits of AOL, Netscape, Yahoo and many other lottery winners. Everyone wanted in on the gold mine that was the World Wide Web and startups. There were 4 times as many VCs in DC who were 10 times more active and 50 times less discriminating than today's VCs. In 2000, Evan went out in search of institutional investors at a time when every kid with a business plan and a napkin could get funded.  Amed with a pen and a napkin, Burfield found himself a passel of soon to be out-of-work VC's...