Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass

Sometimes I Have To Admit, #DCTech Isn’t So Bad

Fake Grimlock holding a can of WhoopAss

Fake Grimlock holding a can of WhoopAss

When it comes to DCTech, ya’ll, well, any of ya’ll in DCTech who have ever read my screeds know that Mr. Cranky is a Glass Half Full kind of guy and that Half Full Glass is usually Half Full of Urine. Now, most of you are thinking that Mr. Cranky, is from New Jersey by way of Brooklyn before Brooklyn was as our President would say, “Infested,” with hipsters, just used the word ya’ll and you’re wondering WTF so I’m going to tell you WFT, and TF is that the word, ya’ll empowers me to say things like “Bless Your Heart,” instead of the New Jerseyian equivalent which is, F$3K OFF! Hows that for some stream of consciousness bit spewing vomit (the first person to correctly diagram the proceeding sentences gets a free can of Mr. Cranky Driven Forward Whoopass as pictured here).

Today I’m here to Praise DCTech and not to bury her.

In the last 2 weeks, I’ve serendipitously managed to meet several DCTech Real Startup Founders. Here are companies that will make my next release of “100 DCTech Companies I Don’t Hate.”

  • Nakul Manjal – Status Identity. provides powerful Multi-Factor Adaptive User Authentication by creating a highly-secure, simple-to-use smart authentication into enterprise access controls. Hackers can’t login, even if they have the login credentials and access to the two-step authentication source. Yet, the user experience is seamlessly transparent. Nakul has bootstrapped this thing from scratch and is heads down in getting shit done… sales and software development.
  • Joshua Anton – X-Mode, offers real-time location solutions for partners in advertising, trading, market research, real estate, college safety, and nightlife. We have all the tools to help solve for X. This company that no one has heard of is generating more revenue and has had more success than companies that everyone talks about.
  • Sameer Gulati – Ordway, a billing and invoicing platform that takes the headache out of one of the most important functions for any business. Gulati is not a guy who taughts his own horn pretending to have multiple profitable exits… he’s had them. He’s been an active Angel Investor. Ordway recently closed a $2.5 million dollar seed round from, as Andy Medici of the Washington Business Journal reports, “A bunch of former Opower execs, including former CEO Daniel Yates, Alex Laskey, Michael Sachse and Thomas Kramer. Prominent angel investors Phil Bronner and Sean Glass.
  • Jackson Geller & David Engle – Upright Labs, helps your team turn your inventory into a meaningful online business for you in minutes. Upright Labs is an Optoro-like company for previously owned items. Upgright is bootstrapped, profitable and run by two impressive young men.
  • Chad Chadwick III – Deconomax, is a Blockchain AI Optical Metronome guaranteed to light the future of reliable high-speed blockchain security. It’s also the only one of these companies that is a total fiction. Yet it is still better than 1/2 of the companies you’ll read about in DCInno this week.

See that folks… not everything sucks! Not everyone is a never succeeded pretendpreneur like Evan Burfield or Jonathon Perrelli. This isn’t about fake companies where the founders are raising money to line their pockets while pretending to build a real business, like Peter Noce, Danny Boice, Jen Mellon or Matthew Pugsley. Apparently, there are real investors in the world and not everyone is a friggin Angel King like Ross Blankenship or a guy who thinks that Venture Capitalists help people apply for credit cards like Jason Feimster of 3Si.

There’s some real stuff going on in DC. The real stuff is underreported, underrated and underrepresented of the faux stuff that gets all the linkbait press. What real entrepreneurs have in common is they are spending more time building a business than soliciting likes! By the way, did I ever tell you the story of how I was named the #1 Angel Investor? The same way Evan Burfield got famous… tooting my own, unearned horn. Oh and one more thing for ya’ll, bless your hearts!