Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart

I have been collecting a bunch of Random Rants that don’t warrant a singular blog post so I thought I’d get them all out at once.  So here we go with Random Rants of a Cranky Old Fart.

    1. The Peter Noce Affair – My Mobile Phone Rings… and I have Caller ID on that phone in the form of an app called True Caller and the caller is Peter Jay Noce, of History Of Malfeasance – Peter Noce Edition (like any good conman he goes by several names: Peter Noce, Peter Jay Noce, and Jay Noce). So I think to myself, because that’s what I do when I’m thinking and I’m by myself, “Why would that Noce crook be calling me, we haven’t spoken in 18 years?” I let the call go to voicemail and the bum left no message. He must have just been drunk dialing old girlfriends.So the next day, I’m checking my web stats and I notice that I was getting paid google add word hits to that History of Malfeasance blog. Who the hell hates Noce so much they’ll pay money to send them to my blog post? That’s a simple process of elimination… if you eliminate about 3 million people.
      Then I notice that Noce has is trying to outbid his anonymous hater by paying for adds to pages that aggrandize the crooked thief. Peter, don’t call us… we’ll call you. Your self published bull shit doesn’t clean you up. PR is not a proxy for character. One of four Random Rants down… three to go.
    2. The Case of the Missing Water Bottle – It’s well over 4 years since Jonathon Perrelli founded LifeFuels, the company that is going to revolutionize revolutionary revolutions. Over four years after starting his company and squandering… wait that harsh, let me say investing millions of investor dollars in aything that isn’t crucial to delivering a friggin water bottle… that’s right… a water bottle like those cheesy things use as product giveaways at trade shows. But that’s not important because LifeFues has won office envy awards, two CES awards… a revelation about revolutionary products that don’t exist can win CES awards and having cool offices is better than having products. Who needs a product and revenue… when you can rock a t-shirt to work and wave your arms.Then two weeks ago, it was announced the Keurig will be investing in the company! Now I’ll admit that’s impressive. Just like it’s impressive that Kim Jong Un is going to meet with Donald Trump. Just remember it’s a meeting, a step in a process but it isn’t a result. Now I’m a Keurig fan… not because I love the product, I hate Keurig’s but I like how they pulled out of sponsoring Sean Hannity and then all the Sean Hannity idiots threw out their Keurig’s. Unfortunately, Keurig is not recognized as a great company and having a Keurig endorsement is not a guarantee of anything. Keurig has had its share of failures, including their At-Home Soda Machine, basically a LifeFuels with bubble water. Random Rants number 2… done.

 

  1. Trustify Bot Bitch – FlimFlam man Danny Boice’s Dumpster Fire, shows off Danny’s total technology ineptitude. I recently received an email from a fellow Mindshare CEO Alumni, one of Danny’s fellow Mindshare Alumni who is ashamed to call him a peer. He made fun of the conversation he had with the Trustify Web Bot and sent me the picture below of the brain dead conversation. Here’s the a testiment to Danny Boice’s technical expertise and attention to detail. What a dope! What a dumpster fire.
    • Bot Says: Hey there!Thanks for visiting Trustify.info! What brought you here to check us out?Mr. Cranky Says: I was reading an interesting blog post about the company. Trying to figure out if it’s true.Bot Says: That’s great. Trustify has built the largest national network of the best private investigators that can do almost anything, from surveillance to research. Starting a private investigation case generally costs anywhere from $200 to $2,000 depending on what you need.Are you comfortable with that?Mr. Cranky Says: Looks like you guys are screwed. You’re not allowed to do business in Virginia https://drivenforward.com/trustify-banned-from-doing-business-in-virginia/Bot Says: So you’re currently a customer with us.

      What can I help you with?

      #FAIL

  2. Shitty Investments – I’m tired of writing about shitty investors like Jason Feimster of 3Si Ventures, Jonathon Perrelli of The Fort, Paul Singh of What Ever The Hell He’s Doing Now, and Ross Blankenship of Angel King’s. I’m tired of talking about shitty startup investment’s like Chalant Health, LifeFuels, and Trustify… Finally, there is an investment you can make that removes shit. Really! No Shit! No Literally… no shit. It’s called MOVABOWL (its tagline should be Move a Bowel with MOVABOWL) and it’s the world’s first movable, flushable, toilet or something like that.  Just check out this mission statement:Designing the next generation of toilets by redefining what a toilet can do. My design is the latest and greatest in toilet engineering that will help the 78 million Aging Baby Boomers and the disabled throughout the world.”Look at least if you invest in this you will have a toilet in which you can flush your cash down the toilet. None of those other shitty investments offer that.

Random Rants #4… done.

Re: MOVABOWL: Please understand that while I typically ridicule crappy companies, I intend no criticism of MOVABOWL and list them here for pure comical relief to point out the irony of an actual product that removes crap as opposed to the typical DCTech company that is crap. I do not have any inside knowledge pro or con for the actual MOVABOWL company. Based on the cursory analysis the company may supply a useful product and in fact a be possible worthy company in which to invest. It just happens to be targeted at a convenient market for cheap laughs. Check out MOVABOWL as a Product and a possible investment at this website. I would probably buy this product for myself or a loved in case of a health dictated the use of such a product as opposed to the alternatively available products.


Disclaimer: I volunteer my time and am an independent contractor for many organizations. The Views on my blog post are my own and do not represent the views of any of the organizations to whom I dedicate my time. That includes my clients in my coaching practice, the members of my Driven Forward ThinkTank, the University of Maryland. Mach37, The Founders Institute. These views also do not reflect the opinions for any organization that I was formerly associated with including, James Monroe Elementary School, where I graduated with distinction from 6th grade, Lexitron which I left in 1982, Montgomery Youth Hockey or Vistage an organization was grateful to be a part of and happily parted ways in 2014.