Mr Cranky’s Good News/Bad News

So I have some good news and bad news for you.

First the good news. I can’t think of anything to blog about today.

Next the bad news. I’m not going to let that stop me.

  1. NVTC and The Cooch – So I know that Ken “The Cooch” Cuccinelli and the NVTC TecPAC crew are thinking, Great he has nothing to say today. He’s not going to talk about us today……. wrong, I just did. Oh and thank you Terry McAuliffe for following me on twitter. You had my vote as soon as you didn’t suggest making every male or female who thinks global warming is a hoax must submit to a vaginal probe.

    I’m still trying to figure out how a PAC, founded by Bobbie Kilberg’s NVTC, funded by Bobbie Kilberg’s NVTC, that is guided by the agenda of Bobbie Kilberg’s NVTC  isn’t Bobbie Kilberg’s NVTC. Her announcement this week that “we are not us” confounds me. It reminds me of the Mission Impossible. You know the message at the end of each mission assignment, “”As always, should you or any of your I.M. Force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.” Someone caught the NVTC supporting the anti-science/anti-technology candidate and Bobbie is disavowing any knowledge of her PAC which isn’t hers (see post).

    Don’t blame me for this blog because it’s my blog that isn’t mine! See, I’m a quick learner.

  2. The Daily Deal – You know how Groupon and Living Social introduced the daily deal thing and that was the hot thing for like 15 minutes. You know how I’ve been bitching and moaning about the daily meetup, or 1776 startup conferences on Just-Another-Speaker, the tons of other crappy duplicative events that people who have nothing to do but look like they’re doing something important while people who have something important to do are doing it elsewhere?   Well finally someone else is noticing this phenomena on a national level. Perhaps this more reasoned, rational and less cranky article will resonate. Kudos to Gary Honig, for finding this Fast Company Article: HEY, STARTUP FOUNDERS: YOU’RE NETWORKING WRONG.
  3. Whoopass – Promotional Item, I was looking for a new promotional item to represent my Driven Forward coaching practice. I wanted something that represented what I offer to clients. Something that people would keep on display in their office, that wouldn’t break my bank. I remembered once getting a large can of WhoopAss that I proudly displayed on my desk for years until a drunken moment when I offered it to a friend who coveted it enough to be willing to risk the friendship over it. When we sobered up and he walked away with it explaining a deal is a deal, I cried.

    So I scoured the four corners of the internet for vendors that could sell me cans of whoopass and found nothing.  Then it dawned on me that I could get cans of soup in bulk pretty cheap. Why not just relabel the cans. I took the idea to my good friends at Sisaria to gen up a design, then got my buds at Copy General to print up labels and viola! I have can’s of whoopass.

  4. Bullshitocracy – New term in the Lexicon of Mr Cranky to be added to the likes of Jersey-Shore-ification, Turd to Gold Ratio.

    Bullshitocracy –  “Community Leaders” or Bullshitocrators who pretend to be successful, reputable, people working on your behalf and yet in fact have a record of multiple business failures. When they claim they have profitable exits, they mean the door hitting them in the ass on the way out kind of exits. The folks who have never engineered the profitable sale of a business, are named as defendant in multiple breech of contract lawsuits, are in it to for their own engrandizement and not the common good. The folks with the magical Mayor Barry touch that play with fire and come out unscathed. You can spot the Bullshitocrators, they are followed by sycophants, naive neophytes and wantrepreneurs.

  5. The DC Bully Squad – why do I get so many private messages from respected, verifiably successful (as opposed to the Bushitocracy) people thanking me for speaking up when I take on the DCs Gilded Sacred Calves. What are people afraid of? The people in Syria have more guts speaking out against a truly dangerous tyrant than the folks afraid to question, the DC Bully Squads.  I’m talking to you startups entrepreneurs. There’s no such thing as a sacred cow in startups and there is no Rodney King-style, can’t we all just going along and following the crowd. Are you beaurocrats, corporate pawns and cube monkeys? Are you lemmings? You’re supposed to be the pioneering leaders.

    It’s Okay to ask questions about the companies built on braggadocio, bluster, and empty claims. It’s okay to ask about sacred cows like NVTC or the Mayor’s Office, or 1776.  Go ahead, ask tough questions for cranky sake. Repeat after me: