Let Off Some Cranky Steam

Time for Mr. Cranky to let off some cranky steam. I’ve been getting angrier and angrier, and it’s been building up steam to the point where I want to explode. And then… I remembered one of my coaching adages… why are you so angry Mr. Cranky.  I can’t point to any one thing. I think it’s more about a thousand little things… it’s death by a thousand cuts.

Here’s the thing, many of us let little irritants go… but do we… really? No, we don’t.  We take that little nuisance, and we put it on our back. Like a straw on a camel’s back. And then we put the next irritant on our back and the next… until the last straw… breaks our back, and we explode entirely out of proportion to that last straw but certainly in line with the totality of straws.

The poor last person to put the final straw on your back has no idea why you let off some cranky steam on them in such an explosive, volcanic eruption. So today, I’m going to safely let off some cranky steam in little doses, therefore, avoiding the next Mount Vesuvius.

  • Dabblers – Part-time, non-serious, hobbyist dabblers in entrepreneurship who call their silly hobby a startup. If it employs no one, only pays your Netflix bill, isn’t growing by double digits and you’re living off your wife’s income as a doctor… you’re not an entrepreneur… you’re a dabbler.
  • The Community of Dabblers – The vast community of Dabblers who for some reason crave recognition and attention so bad that they all get together and pat each other on the back for meaningless dabbling dabbleteering. They are in search of dabbletuedes.
  • Stupid articles that compare everything to entrepreneurship – Folks… farting is like entrepreneurship… if you have to push too hard, it’s shit and not a business. That joke was not mine but was adapted from its original form referring to love. Which reminds me, Love is like entrepreneurship because you have to swipe right a lot of times before you hit gold. Which reminds me, gold is a lot like entrepreneurship because I said so.
  •  If You Can Make it Here You Can Make it Anywhere – The people who were multiple abject failures here and have lost all credibility in DC that bring their traveling medicine show to cities, like Muncie, IN and Dubuque, IA because they haven’t been outed as fake scammy charlatans in the boonies… yet.  Oh but, they’re still writing blog posts like they are, as one of these characters refers to themselves in a bio, “I’m kind of a big thing.”  Two things about that… if you have to say you’re a big thing, you’re not… and DC ain’t New York.  If you can’t make it here… you probably can’t make it anywhere.
  • The DC Tech Event Space – God… I’m just sick of it. Meaningless events, celebrating meaningless companies and meaningless awards.  Folks… you know when you go to these stupid events… you are the product? Right? These events are paid for by sponsors who speakers or companies that want to present their crappy businesses to you because they don’t have creativity, gumption (whatever the f3*k that is), or the tenacity to get in front of you without paying some PT Barnum huckster.
  • The Killing It Guy – My business is killing it. I’ve been doing this for years and although you can’t see it… I’m making stupendous progress. I’m like a duck, all calm above the water but under the water, those feet are paddling like crazy. I’ve had 500% staff turnover but that’s a good thing.  My Founders bailed. I can’t keep an intact exec team. I have to keep my customers a secret but trust me I have gazillions of customers. I don’t report on my results to my investors… but they’re stupid so they trust me when I tell them I’m killing it. I keep raising round after round of funding even though I’m killing it and yet my investors have no idea where we stand or they stand… but it’s okay because when I kill it they kill it. And oh by the way…don’t I dress well, which is a form of killing it. Have I mentioned, I’m killing it?
  • Vacuous Meaningless Best Selling Books – Every book can’t be a best seller unless you niche it by timeframe, niche of a niche of a niche subject, or maybe just consider any book that sold a copy the best selling book at the moment that copy was sold. Even if you were the one who bought it. Yes, you’re an author but you’re a vanity author. Oh and if you have written four worthless books you’re not a four-time author unless, after your first book, all the other authors said, ” that crap disqualifies him as an author,” so you lost your author status. Then you “authored” another meaningless piece of crap, regained authorhood and once again got excommunicated.  Wash and repeat. You’re either an author or your not. You’re probably not. But maybe you wrote four books.  It’s not the same thing.

Now that I let off some cranky steam, I’m feeling a little better. Now that I let off some cranky steam, I think DC may be safe from a Cranky Volcanic Eruptions for a few days.

After I let off some cranky steam, and I’m calm and composed, I offer this to you. Would you like to let off some cranky steam? Want to know what it feels like to have a coach who listens and asks questions? Someone you can abuse instead of your team? Try a complimentary, no obligation, online coaching session. I’m inviting you to let off some cranky steam by scheduling a session. Press the button below to schedule.