Evil - Fortify.VC

Trustify Lies and Washington Business Journal Bites

Yesterday, Andy Medici and the Washington Business Journal (WBJ) lowered the bar of business journalism by continuing to just reprint a Trustify Press Release instead of performing the any research. This story legitimizes the illegitimate. It's a disgrace. In yesterday's story Titled, Private detective startup Trustify adding 184 jobs in Arlington The WBJ embarrass themselves by aiding and abetting criminals. It's not the first time they've reprinted lies. It's not the first time I've pointed that out as you can see by this post: Washington Business Journal Buys Danny Boice Lies. Let's try and make sense of the senseless by quoting the WBJ in blue and rewriting to reflect reality. WBJ: "On-demand private investigator platform Trustify is spending $1.04 million to create 184 new jobs in Arlington, according to a joint press release by the startup and Gov. Terry McAuliffe’s office." Mr Cranky: "Highly-unreliable Dumpster fire formerly and more aptly known as Trustify assert they will spend $1.04 million to create 184 new jobs. They will spend the money to hire people to take care of their children, mow their lawn, clean their house, chauffeur them around and be personal servants...

A History Of Malfeasance – Turn Of Century #DCTech Part 2

When we last left our protagonist (see part 1) he, as in me referring to myself in the 3rd person as if I'm some kind of hero, had just stepped into a pile of poo called Ikimbo. Ikimbo at one time was one of those magical acts of reverse-alchemy where mismanagement, misdirection, and misrepresentation spun gold into a pile of turds (see turd to gold ratio). The first day I went to work with the following priorities: Earn team trust and limit the loss of talent Take stock of assets and liabilities Cut burn rate As I arrived in the office for my first day as boss and went about working the list: Address the troops - "Folks, we are in a bad place...

Malfeasance - Sailboat Stuck on a Sandbar

A History Of Malfeasance – Turn of Century #DCTech Part 1

It was May, 2003. I had just finished my first "turnaround" as the President of Astracon, a Denver-Colorado/Brisbane-Australia-based company that had raised over $70 million from Cisco Systems, Geocapital Partners, The Edgewater Funds, Cross Atlantic Capital Partners and Australasian Media & Communications Fund. We sold the assets of that company with a less than stellar result. In the end, the investors realized a $2 million return on a $70 million investment. I was pretty sure that was my last "turn-around." Looking back on Astracon I'd blame the poor results on sub par execution, specifically, a lack of attention to results, an inattention to culture which resulted in division and distrust between teams, constant shifting focus, and way too much money too soon. There was no maleficence. With that behind me, I moved into the consulting phase of a Turn-Around exec. Consulting phase? One thing I learned doing turnarounds is you spend a lot of time as a "consultant." You know what a consultant is right? That's a thing you do in between jobs. So during my "consulting" time, I was lucky enough to land a non-paid, room-and-board-only, consulting gig as a crew member on Atlantica. A $1.5 million, Hinckley Southwester 42 making its way from its winter...

Jonathon Perrelli Bottle

Jonathon Perrelli Epilogue Part 3 (revised)

Prologue to the Jonathon Perrelli Epilogue Two weeks ago, I posted the first of a 3 part series Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC Part 1 with a follow up Part 2 last week. Yup there goes Mr Cranky picking on a poor pioneer of DC's Startup Ecosystem. Not one of the people who protested about the series did so by refuting any of the facts presented in those posts. JP didn't respond to my request for information, nor did he reply in comments, except possibly under a the pseudonym "goonsquad" in the comment section of the first post. All of the folks who protested my first two blog post, protested with the same response...

The Fort - Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC

Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC Part 2

Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify VC Part 2 (see part 1) It was April 23rd and I had just posted an article about questionable startup investors titled, Pretangel Alert – Beware Fake VCs And Angels. That post was a warning for founders to be on the lookout for faux investors that pretend to be interested in investing with the true intention of garnering paid consulting engagements. In this post I non-derogatorily mentioned a couple of Investment Funds, including Fortify that were in a Zombie state...

The Fort - Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC

Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC Part 1

Meet Jonathon Perrelli Fortify VC I first met Jonathon Perrelli (commonly referred to as JP) in late 2011 at a Founders Institute (FI) graduation. Twelve companies graduated and pitched that day. After many of the pitches, JP provided, what seemed to me at the time, expert commentary. He was electrifying, funny, talked about all the big things he had done in the past -- his friendship with Sean Parker (as in -- you know what’s really cool, a billion dollars -- played by Justin Timberlake in the Social Network Sean Parker… that guy), his connections with 500 Startups and other big Silicon Valley icons. So I approached JP, introduced myself, and talked for a while. I was impressed. He told me about his fund, Fortify.VC and why it was like bringing Silicon Valley to DC. We both liked one of the companies that pitched, HugeFan. In my excitement to do a deal with this guy (who I mistakenly assumed was a sophisticated investor)…. I decided to place a bet on HugeFan and that I’d rely on this “professional” to do the due diligence. JP went on to invest in two of the companies presenting that day, HugeFan and Feastie.  I put $25,000...

Wolves of Startupland

Wolves Of StartupLand – #DCTech-style

The Wolves Of StartupLand What's wrong with Mr Cranky? Why is he always crying Wolf? Is he like Peter in Peter and the Wolf? Are there really Wolves in StartupLand? Is he just crying Wolf? Absolutely YES and on Thursday's for the next few months I'm going to make my episodic case to that end in a series of blog posts that detail what puts the Crank in Mr Cranky. Why is he so mean to that poor startup founder.  Why is he such a bully. Although I prefer to think of me as more of a Proceed With Caution Sign than a bully but that's just me. You make up your own mind. Over the next few months, I'm going to be dedicating my Thursday Blog Posts to multi-part stories telling the tales of The Wolves of StartupLand.  I'm talking about the people who game the system, fudge the truth, may have squirreled away with the money of others...