Fake Grimlock Holding Can of WhoopAss

Innovation Lately… Not Likely

Innovation? Not Likely. Not Lately. Not Where It Use to Be We use to count on Software Startups to drive the innovation engine. Yet real Light bulb ideas,  that kind of big thinking that created Light Bulbs. Steam Engines, Internal Combustion Engines, Telephone, Radio, Television, Micro-wave Popcorn, are currently overshadowed by evolutionators dressed in innovators clothing. There use to be a steady pace of real innovation coming from startups and inventors. Now we have things like...

LearnMetrics

LearnMetrics Learns Nothing Fast

Chicago-based startup LearnMetrics and Julian Miller are the definition of the Startup Professional Class (SPC) What do I mean by that? The Startup Professional class are components of the Startup Industrial Complex. Julian and his SPC colleagues, like DC-based Danny Boice and Evan Burfield are not in the business of creating companies of any value...

Startup Business Plan

Get Investors to Read Your Startup Business Plan

How do you get investors to read your startup business plan? Well short of walking into their offices and holding a gun on them, there's no guaranteed way to get them to read a business plan. There are however several ways to get them to not read your startup business plan and they include: Send it to investors who don't invest in your space - You're a pre-revenue media entertainment startup located in Washington DC seeking seed funding and you send the plan to a later-stage investor that doesn't focus in media and entertainment. Wrong Stage. Wrong Geography. Wrong Investor. Blind Unsolicited - Send in an unsolicited blind plan. Why waste a stamp. If you're sending in a blind, unsolicited business plan to an investor, save yourself a stamp. Just put it in an envelope, address the envelope and place it in your recycle bin. Maybe you should shred it first so no one else will find out how stupid you are. Technology - Make it all about the tech. Tell them every thing about the inner workings of your technology and ignore why anyone would want it. Use lots and lots of big words - Forget graphics, bullets and a narrative....

DCs Mr Cranky

Why Do They Call Me DC’s Mr Cranky?

DC's Mr Cranky? Tonight, for the umpteenth time I was introduced as DC's Mr Cranky. Tonight, folks continuously asked, "Why Mr Cranky?" I obviously wasn't amongst my base. They didn't know me. So I thought today, I'd explain to the world...

Peter Paul and Mary - Mr Cranky Startups

Mr Cranky Startups – Where Have All The Founders Gone?

Mr Cranky Startups. It's a love hate relationship that reminds me of a song: Where have all the founders gone, Long time passing, Where have all the founders gone, Long time ago, When will they ever learn? At least I think that's how the Peter, Paul and Mary song went. Mr Cranky Startups Rant Lately, I've been wondering about the weakness in DC Tech startups. It seems to me that the rate of startup founders dipping their toes in the DCTech pond has slowed considerably. Yet before I am added to the list of purveyors of Fake News which is just another name for the Local DC Tech press, like DCInno, let me admit that this is kind of a trumpish statement, since I'm short of actual data and base my observation on feelings. Startups growth rates were up rapidly around 2008 and peaked around 2012. Today there is a lack of new startups and more importantly a lack of new quality startups (see The Startup Turd to Gold Ratio). Worse still, there are very few great startups like Hurdlr (who? you say. My point exactly) are operating in secret. In fact most great companies spend more time developing product and customers instead of wasting limited resources courting the local tech...