Driven Forward / Blog  / Rant (Page 4)
November 4, 2018
In DCTech, Rant
0 Comments

Sorry DC… this isn’t the big one.

You know the definition of a slow DCTech news day? Every business day DCInno reports on everything that nobody needs to know in DC. Each day there is a feature called The Big One. Now I don't know about you but the big one to me means something.  It's like the earthquake that sinks half of California into the sea or the Heart Attack that ends a life. But not a pretend heart attack like this one from Sanford and Son: If you can't see the video link here. But according to DCInno, the big one on November 1, was an App that keeps you posted on the happy hour deals offered by bars. That's a cute little feature. Maybe Groupon could use it to delay their slow death. There are over 60,000 restaurants in the US and all of them are on yelp...

Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass
October 30, 2018
In DCTech, Rant, Startup
2 Comments

World of #DCTech Update

Hi, #DCTech Mr. Sunshine here with a World of #DCTech Update. If you've been reading DCInno then you probably have no idea what's happening in the startup community in this town so it's time for a #DCTech update on what's really happening. Social Tables - The big news is a sweet exit for Social Tables. Congratulations Dan Berger on an exceptional job. The deal should certainly be labeled a win returning 7X to most investors. This investor is very happy. I'm sure the VCs are pleased and yet not ecstatic because the deal falls short of the 10X plus target of most investors. Yet as a #DCTech Update, this is a big win and a cash deal at that! This is a glass fully full as far as I'm concerned. Trackmaven - The Trackmaven "merger" on the other hand...

October 19, 2018
In DCTech, Rant, Startup, Uncategorized
2 Comments

Attention Trustify Investors

Attention Trustify Investors: I have a treat for you. Want the next best thing to audited books on your investment in Danny Boice and Jen Mellon's dumpster fire FlimFlam, doing business as Trustify. Attention Trustify Investors: Danny Boice needs you to dump more, I mean invest more of your cash in Trustify so he can maintain his lifestyle. Attention Trustify Investors: Do you have an accounting of what the assets in which you invested? Check out this rental: https://laricks.com/property/10653422 See this home? You paid for it. Your investment went in for the down payment and is paying the mortgage and now that Danny and Jen have spent the bulk of your money on houses, cars, NetJets, and a new $150K boat in July. He has to rent this out...

October 17, 2018
In DCTech, Rant, Startup
0 Comments

All Eyes on Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify

So there's this guy in town (DC) who likes to play dress up. While all the other kids were playing Cowboys and Native Americans, this guy dressed up like he was a Venture Capitalist.  I'm talking about Jonathon Perrelli and Fortify. Back in the day, he played big venture capitalist boy. Today, all the other kids are playing astronaut, but little Jon is playing big-time CEO of a hot, water-bottle startup (not hot water but a hot startup and regular water). Nine years ago, there were some people in town who gave little Jonny P, real money which he spread around DCTech like cash was apple seeds and little Jon was Jonny Appleseed. Dressed up like a VC, he indiscriminately spread the cash randomly with no thesis, strategy or plan, throwing some here and there. Ninety percent of JP's investments were or are dogs. But just like a blind squirrel...

October 3, 2018
In DCTech, Rant
0 Comments

Cockroaches and Hand Grenades

When I was a young man, my first job out of Sales and Sales Management, was National Sales Operations Manager, which basically meant I was the VP of Sales, executive assistant (National Sales Operations Manager is to the Executive Assistant to the VP of Sales as the Chief of Staff is the Executive Assistant to the CEO. Its title inflation). Now, this VP was a former senior manager at Xerox, a notorious hyper-political organization and this guy, let's call him Jeff because Jeff was and probably still is his name was a puppet master extraordinaire. He would take a circuitous path to any goal...

August 29, 2018
In DCTech, Rant
2 Comments

What A Crock Of Startup Bullshit

I can't take it anymore. I can no longer continue ignoring Paul Singh's startup bullshit disguised as wisdom. Folks in the know keep forwarding to me ridiculous articles, stupid investments, and silly tweets of Paul's. One of his latest gems, a blog post titled, "You (probably) don't need a MVP, You need a list"  forwared to me with the subject line, Do You Believe This Shit? Yes, I sure as shit do because I consider the source. It's Paul Singh, the "prestigious," prestidigitating street performer from the traveling medicine show of startup bullshit. The man who packed up all his earthly possessions into an Airstream trailer, left DC and his Family behind in a cloud of dust. Just in time to beat the crowd of investors and entrepreneurs armed with pitchforks who showed up at his castle (see actual photo below)! [caption id="attachment_78750" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Actual Photo Of DCTech Investors on the way to Paul's House Before They Found Out He Skipped Town[/caption] Since then, he's been traveling to other startup boonies posing as the one-eyed man of startup bullshit in the land of the startup blind. He's the guru of getting it done in startup backwaters like Utica, Kitchenoo, Port Huron, Tallahassee,...

August 12, 2018
In Rant
0 Comments

Facebook Hoaxes

It would not be out of character to find Mr. Cranky ranting about the inability for supposedly intelligent people to think critically.  Mostly I apply this criticism to false startup prophets and bullshitocrat (Like for instance the 23-year-old kids who have never run a company, creating an investment fund in a scammy still unproven volatile market like cryptocurrency...