Jason Feimster How Venture Capital Works

Jason Feimster, Jason Feimster, Jason Feimster. While I so want to pick up a new topic. You keep leaving me nuggets of lunacy that I can't ignore. Now Jason, unlike you, I've never been a VC. But also unlike you, I've worked for VCs, pitched and successfully raised money from VCs and have exits that made money for VCs. So let me coach you on some VC-dom basics. There's a problem if you've never pitched a real Venture Capitalists (VC), and if you're not a real VC.  It's very difficult to pretend you're one. There is so much stuff you don't understand. Pretending to be a VC after never being a part of or ever witnessing a real Venture Capital process is difficult. It's like putting a caveman in a helicopter and expecting them to be able to pretend they can fly it. They don't even know helicopters fly. For instance: Jason Feimster, when you ask a prospective "portfolio company" founder to sign an NDA? Come on silly, Real VC's don't sign NDAs. Consultants do. Real VC's don't learn their trade watching Shark Tank. In videos of Jason (I've included a bunch herein), Jason mimicks the sharks. Maybe you'll understand this...

3Si Phony VC

Everyone Who Knows Anything, Knows 3Si Phony VC is a Sham. Well, everyone except the local tech rags. With them, when it comes to that "knowing" thing, there appears to be a problem. These Tech "journalists" either don't know much or don't care about sharing letting what they know to get in the way of a story on deadline. The problem in DC is that too many of the "journalists" at rags like Technically DC and DCInno simply reprint bullshit without doing research. So when they post an article like this one, "WeWork’s veterans-in-residence program expands to DC," by Technically DC or this one, "The 10 Entrepreneurs in WeWork’s First D.C. Veterans in Residence Program," by DCInno the damage the very ecosystem of which they claim to be supporters. I reached out to one, count them, one, of the listed "Team Members" on the 3Si Web Page to ask about his relationship with 3Si. His response, "I Read your 3Si expo. I’m unfortunately linked with them and can’t seem to distance myself. One of the comments you posted came from my client. I Also have a second client that 3Si attempted to screw." I'm no journalist, yet, in doing a modest amount of research I...

3Si Jason Feimster part 3

My 3Si introduction was in early 2017 when a friend, let's call him Joe, called me about a VC he was speaking with. I had been advising this friend for years. He's a great guy and in the last five years, he has been diligently building a great company that serves a social good. I love this guy (yes DC, Mr. Cranky doesn't hate everyone). Joe had recently pitched at a local venture capital pitch event where he met a big-time Venture Capitalist interested to invest in Joe's company. They had follow-up meetings after the event and 3Si confirmed they were hot to invest. I asked who he was speaking with at 3Si and he said, Jason Feimster. That was how Jason Feimster and 3Si first popped up on my radar screen. I told Joe I would do a little research and get back to him. I checked Angel List, checked Crunchbase, checked the 3Si website and all the data pointed to bullshit. The only portfolio company was a small company called Lifemarkers that had no investors with the exception of 3Si. The two principals of 3Si, Hard Weinstock, and Jason Feimster were the founders and management team of both Lifemarkers and...

Startup Funding: Who To Blame for the Lack of #DCTech Cash?

Who should we blame for the lack of startup funding in DC? Angel Investors - Let's blame the Angel Investors! Why aren't people like Mr Cranky investing in startups anymore? After all, wasn't Glen Hellman the #1 Angel Investor in the United States according to Tech Cocktail (tech.co) readers? Actually, no he wasn't and he, who is I, never was the #1 angel anywhere. He who is I, is (or am) also no longer an Angel Investor and the rest of this article describes why. Venture Capitalists - Let's blame the lack of startup funding on all the VC's who just don't "get it." Which isn't true if "it" is not understanding the value of a groovy app like Sick Weather. There is no it to get with apps like Trustify and Sick Weather.  The it that VCs do get however is the actually it that is the problem.  The it that is keeping them from actively investing in this region is that too few its have proven themselves to be worth it in DC as of late. That's why there used to be over 40 active VC's in this town and now there's only 4 or 5 or 6. The Government...

DC VC vs CB Insights Map

DC VC vs CB Insights – Fake News

DC VC vs CB Insights. That's today's story. Why is it that there are so few sources of real facts in the Startup World. CB Insights is a company that tries to sell and monetize data displays their total lack of understanding of data. They serve Data without Insight. Is CB Insights an arm of the Russian Government hired to distribute fake news? Data without wisdom is worthless.  Give a list of tables and data to this little monkey here and he will derive the same value from CB INsights list of Most Active VCs in Each State as a founder looking to raise money in DC. It's worthless to both. What should people do with a list that says a company that has not made a legitimate new investment in 3 years and has no office in DC or anywhere else for that matter do with this information? I guess this is the danger of small numbers...

Dumb Money

Mr Cranky Dumb Money Venture Crapital

Dumb Money is someone willing to invest in a Venture Fund run by a Tech.co technology rag full of "journalists" who never saw a bad idea they didn't think would make a great company. I just got this email from Tech.co founder Frank Gruber: From: Frank Gruber Date: Fri, Mar 3, 2017 at 2:20 PM Subject: Re: Timely: Opportunity To Get Involved To: Glen Hellman Cc: Jen Consalvo, Jon Spinney Hi Glen, I hope you're doing well. We haven't heard from you in a bit so I wanted to circle back one last time to see if you're interested in getting involved in TechCo Ventures. The 6 companies targeted for our initial fund are: Blendoor CoSchedule Klickly Peanut Butter ProxBox ShearShare We have finalized terms and are prepared to begin the closing process. Please let us know your final indication of interest and we will send along final documents to execute. Final documents will be sent via DocuSign from Jon Spinney from Malartu (jon@malartufunds.us). So look for that coming to you soon. We look forward to having you involved and are available this weekend to answer any questions regarding the close. Thanks, Frank Frank Gruber CEO, Tech.Co Author of Startup Mixology Host of Innovate & Celebrate Conference Twitter | Facebook | LinkedIn Truthfully...

Startup Business Plan

Get Investors to Read Your Startup Business Plan

How do you get investors to read your startup business plan? Well short of walking into their offices and holding a gun on them, there's no guaranteed way to get them to read a business plan. There are however several ways to get them to not read your startup business plan and they include: Send it to investors who don't invest in your space - You're a pre-revenue media entertainment startup located in Washington DC seeking seed funding and you send the plan to a later-stage investor that doesn't focus in media and entertainment. Wrong Stage. Wrong Geography. Wrong Investor. Blind Unsolicited - Send in an unsolicited blind plan. Why waste a stamp. If you're sending in a blind, unsolicited business plan to an investor, save yourself a stamp. Just put it in an envelope, address the envelope and place it in your recycle bin. Maybe you should shred it first so no one else will find out how stupid you are. Technology - Make it all about the tech. Tell them every thing about the inner workings of your technology and ignore why anyone would want it. Use lots and lots of big words - Forget graphics, bullets and a narrative....