Okay Boomer – Mr Cranky Edition

Born smack in the middle of the boomer generation, this cranky old fart embraces the Okay Boomer responses I get from my kids, my mentees, and my business associations. For all you Boomers, Xrs, Millennials, Zrs and if there are any of you readers from "The Greatest Generation." what follows are my proud, "Okay Boomer," inducing pronouncements. For the uninitiated, I recommend you do a little, Okay Boomer, research. Start here with this Vox Media article, “OK boomer” isn’t just about the past. It’s about our apocalyptic future. It’s not really about age — and it’s more complicated than just memes. Okay, you all with me now? Groovy <---- Okay Boomer inducing expression. Here's Mr. Cranky's Cranky snap-back at you Boomer haters!!!! Stop texting me and pick up the damn phone and call me --Okay Boomer Stop DMing me. If it isn't worth a phone call, then email it to me. - Okay Boomer Get the hell out of the house and meet some people. Make some real friends and talk to them, don't type to them on the firggin phone - Okay Boomer Don't tell me you're a vegetarian because you love animals and not admit you hate plants - Okay Boomer WeWork is not...

No Offense But…

I just noticed for like the 8th time in the last few weeks some guy who is famous for accomplishing nothing with the exception or receiving numerous trivial awards has humbly bragged about these awards by expressing, "I'm humbled." No, Douchenozzle. You're not humbled. You're humble bragging. So I thought I'd just review some of the simple lines that signal the deliverer of said lines is a tool...

From Black and White Binary to Grey-ish

My Dad was extremely literal. You know the type. If I asked him if I could go outside and play, he'd answer, "I don't know can you?" Because I didn't ask for permission, I asked his opinion about my capabilities. If he called someone on the phone, and they said, "May I ask who's calling," he'd respond, "Yes," and sit through for what felt like eons of uncomfortable silence as my Dad waited for the person to ask for his name and not just permission to ask his name. When a server in a restaurant said something like, "My name is Bob if you need me," my Dad would ask, "What's your name if we don't need you?" He wouldn't let me sleep over a friends house...

The This of the Thats

There are more than a few overdone phrases in the startup world that drive me nuts. I hate the intersections as in we're at the intersection,  "we're  at the intersection of tech and sustainability," courtesy of the Shelton Group, or "we're at the intersection of absurdity and buffoonery," courtesy of LifeFuels. Or how about, "We're the Tinder of Uber (for people who want to date Uber Drivers). But nothing makes me crazier than the "We are the This of the Thats." But before I get to that, I have this great product idea! I'm talking as good as the 3rd Love Bra or the Stupid Socks that come in shoe sizes instead of small, medium-large. Here's my idea, it's the 3rd Love Bra of Socks. Shoes come in Left and Right...

Retail Tectonic Shifts and a few Yuks

Retail Tectonic Shifts? Is Mr. Cranky going to talk about what's happening in Germany? No that's Teutonic Shifts.  This is the kind of shirt that takes place when the earth's floating tectonic plates mash together and shake the world. Shit is happening in retail. Some of it good. Most of it bad. In this post, true to form, Mr. Cranky briefly touches on the good but will hammer home the bad effects of retail tectonic shifts. Amazon - Retail Tectonic Shifts Amazon - The Good: Have a stupid idea in your head and search it on Amazon and there it is...

Heard Around DC Startups

Ah DC Startups, the red-headed, bastard, stepchildren of the startup world. For instance, the other day I read a quote by a guy. In terms of DC Startups, this guy is a successful founder with a good, relative to other DC Startups exits.  I like and respect this guy and his current company.  Yet, the quote was a perfect example of the ridiculous, over-the-top, kind of sound bites it takes to get ink or bits in the startup press in the wastelands of DC Startups. This quote inspired me to pick on all the pronouncements and predictions from DC's "prestigious" prognosticators. Here's the quote that inspired me, "We have the DNA of a billion dollar company" I have the DNA of a Neanderthal (2.7 % of my DNA to be precise) but that doesn't make me a caveman. Nope, I'm a caveman because I have failed to evolve. So to the CEO of the double-helix DNA company, you have the DNA of a decent company but you aren't the next Uber of Uber. On the other hand, you aren't Lifefuels...

Angel Kings Ross Blankenship is a Clown

Angel Kings my ass. Ross Blankenship is a clown. Old Ross, claims to have cut his teeth in the DC startup scene. I've been doing startups since 1978. Over that time I've worked with a few of the great entrepreneurs and tech visionaries in this town. No legitimate startup veteran even knows this clown. Let me tell you, Ross Blankenship is not an entrepreneur, nor is he a tech visionary, nor has he ever been a thing in DC of any consequence to anyone but his mom. The cockroaches in DC built better businesses than Blankenship. He's not an Angel Investor or an Angel King. He's a clown, who used to work out of Washington DC. Unlike DC's special brand of two-bit hustling clowns, like Paul Singh, a man who was laughed out of town...