Love Your Haters

You have to love your haters. If you're a person of principle. If you're true to your values. Then you have to love your haters. That's the reason I was flattered the other day when a semi-literate, inarticulate, hater created a web site that pays homage to Mr. Cranky. Thank you whomever you are. You're a hater and you have to love your haters. Oh wait...

The This of the Thats

There are more than a few overdone phrases in the startup world that drive me nuts. I hate the intersections as in we're at the intersection,  "we're  at the intersection of tech and sustainability," courtesy of the Shelton Group, or "we're at the intersection of absurdity and buffoonery," courtesy of LifeFuels. Or how about, "We're the Tinder of Uber (for people who want to date Uber Drivers). But nothing makes me crazier than the "We are the This of the Thats." But before I get to that, I have this great product idea! I'm talking as good as the 3rd Love Bra or the Stupid Socks that come in shoe sizes instead of small, medium-large. Here's my idea, it's the 3rd Love Bra of Socks. Shoes come in Left and Right...

Retail Tectonic Shifts and a few Yuks

Retail Tectonic Shifts? Is Mr. Cranky going to talk about what's happening in Germany? No that's Teutonic Shifts.  This is the kind of shirt that takes place when the earth's floating tectonic plates mash together and shake the world. Shit is happening in retail. Some of it good. Most of it bad. In this post, true to form, Mr. Cranky briefly touches on the good but will hammer home the bad effects of retail tectonic shifts. Amazon - Retail Tectonic Shifts Amazon - The Good: Have a stupid idea in your head and search it on Amazon and there it is...

When You Block Me…

Devin Nunes, a congressman is suing Twitter and two twitter characters named @DevinNuneMom (suspended) and @DevinCow for defamation and seeking $250 million in damages. Is that what you call a snowflake (help out Deven's Cow and donate)? I talked to my attorney last night. The lawsuit can be expensive, but I’m determined to fight it. Devin should not be allowed to stop free speech. Can you please help me? Thank you 💗🐮 https://t.co/I9Ko944Ptr — Devin Nunes’ cow (@DevinCow) March 28, 2019 Why doesn't he just block them? I don't block people on Twitter...

Heard Around DC Startups

Ah DC Startups, the red-headed, bastard, stepchildren of the startup world. For instance, the other day I read a quote by a guy. In terms of DC Startups, this guy is a successful founder with a good, relative to other DC Startups exits.  I like and respect this guy and his current company.  Yet, the quote was a perfect example of the ridiculous, over-the-top, kind of sound bites it takes to get ink or bits in the startup press in the wastelands of DC Startups. This quote inspired me to pick on all the pronouncements and predictions from DC's "prestigious" prognosticators. Here's the quote that inspired me, "We have the DNA of a billion dollar company" I have the DNA of a Neanderthal (2.7 % of my DNA to be precise) but that doesn't make me a caveman. Nope, I'm a caveman because I have failed to evolve. So to the CEO of the double-helix DNA company, you have the DNA of a decent company but you aren't the next Uber of Uber. On the other hand, you aren't Lifefuels...

Angel Kings Ross Blankenship is a Fraud

Angel Kings my ass. Ross Blankenship is a fraud. Old Ross, claims to have cut his teeth in the DC startup scene. I've been doing startups since 1978. Over that time I've worked with a few of the great entrepreneurs and tech visionaries in this town. No legitimate startup veteran even knows this clown. Let me tell you, Ross Blankenship is not an entrepreneur, nor is he a tech visionary, nor was he ever been a thing in DC of any consequence to anyone but his mom. The cockroaches in DC built better businesses than Blankenship. He's not an Angel Investor or an Angel King. He's a fraud, who use to work out of Washington DC. Unlike DC's special brand of two-bit hustling frauds, like Paul Singh, a man who was laughed out of town...

This Year in DCTech – 2018 edition

It's that time again. Time to review all the tremendous accomplishments of the most dynamic tech ecosystem south of Columbia Md, North of Springfield VA,  East of Gaithersburg MD and west of Annapolis. Yes, DCTech we're number 1 out of any city in the world with our exact lat/long coordinates! Yea us! Go Team DC! So let's get right to it. January - Was Action Packed!!!! Amazon Will Change Everything - Amazon announced they would hold a beauty contest to determine which town they will destroy by overloading local infrastructure, straining the already huge employment talent gap by bringing 50,000 new jobs parked in Amazon HQ2. DC is one of the "lucky" cities to make the short list (see post). Boice Is The Champion - Danny Boice wins the coveted Worst Wolf of Startupland Title. Making Shit Happen (As Long as Nothing Happening is the Definition of Happening) - Lots of good news from Jonathon Perrelli and LifeFuels...

What’s In A Name – Sharing Your Name With A Douche

A recently received the following email: Oct 29, 2018, 9:18 AM to glen From: The Other Andy Powers Email: Interested in: Message Body: Hi Mr. Hellman, I'm a different Andy Powers and I encountered your blog after looking curiously at others with my same name online. I am floored and sickened by the stories about the other "me" and others in their crew. I can't believe all that stuff really happened (meant only figuratively, as the details are quite clear and reinforced by SEC orders and the like). I'll have to keep aware of that AP and his digital presence, in case of misunderstanding about someone looking up my name online. How are you connected to those people? It took me a while to understand that those posts were part of your blog, not your Driven Forward business. Did you know them already or know others impacted by them? If the facts are so against them as all this, I'm also surprised that they can still appear successful to anyone else. It's nice to meet you. I'm glad you are recording the details of the stories and proofs behind them. At the least, I wanted to say hello, after reading all these crazy things this morning. Sincerely, The Other Andy Powers Just imagine being a...