Cockroaches and Hand Grenades

When I was a young man, my first job out of Sales and Sales Management, was National Sales Operations Manager, which basically meant I was the VP of Sales, executive assistant (National Sales Operations Manager is to the Executive Assistant to the VP of Sales as the Chief of Staff is the Executive Assistant to the CEO. Its title inflation). Now, this VP was a former senior manager at Xerox, a notorious hyper-political organization and this guy, let's call him Jeff because Jeff was and probably still is his name was a puppet master extraordinaire. He would take a circuitous path to any goal...

Trustify Missed Payroll

According to a tip, Trustify missed payroll yesterday. The few remaining employees just got stiffed. If they are surprised, well then that explains why they were employees of Trustify. They were completely blindsided. Danny Boice's personal lawyer Craig White, of the Leesburg firm of Sevila, Saunders, Huddleston & White, P.C. stopped working for Danny due to non-payment. If Danny kept paying him to intimidate and lie about his wife, Craig would still be doing it. Craig, if you're reading this you deserve to be stiffed! Today, October 2, Danny Boice will be heading to New York to try and convince the stupidest investors in the world to give him more money. Not so he can make payroll but so he can make car payments, house payments, and continue to fly on his Net Jets private jet to the Italian Riveria. It appears that Cruella Jen Mellon is washing her hair of the affair and is nowhere to be seen. Stick a fork in this Turkey...

Culture Evolves

Culture alignment is the single best predictor of career success. When a human is aligned with the culture of their employer, team or tribe, they care more, they feel at home, they are family, and they perform at high levels. As circumstances in healthy growing companies change, culture evolves. Family businesses, small companies, startups may begin as a loyalty culture to a culture of owed-respect. When a company is growing, has more resources and puts a premium on growth, culture evolves from owed-respect to earned-respect, from a loyalty culture to a performance culture. In living, breathing, healthy companies, culture evolves. I was reminded of this during the ConnectPreneur Conference last week where I had the opportunity to sit down for a fireside chat with Dan Berger, the dynamic founder and CEO of Social Tables, one of DC's most healthy growing companies. I first met Don in 2011 and I was one of the first Angel Investors to stroke him a check. I sat on his board and for a while, he was a member of my peer advisory group. In one of our coaching sessions Dan, and I discussed a methodology to define and get team buy-in to a well-defined, intentional corporate culture. Dan was wrestling with...

Tim Lee – Wolf of Startupland?

Who is Tim Lee? That is the question. Late last year, I started getting tips from multiple founders regarding a strange duck, called The Sabotage Institute. Depending on who you talk to, Sabotage Institute is a VC, a Dumpster Fire, an Incubator, a Pretangel or an aptly named company designed to sabotage the reputations of companies and people. Many of the Sabotage tipsters urged me to look at one of the founders, Tim Lee. Described as a high-pressure, huckster. More than one and less than ten entrepreneurs referred to Tim with harsh epitaphs, relating tales of Tim's used-car salesman approach to recruiting founders. Fortunately, my friends who were approached by Tim were in well-positioned companies and did not feel the need to sabotage their companies,  careers, and reputations by aligning with Tim Lee and Andy Powers. Others, like Armortext, took money from Sabotage and the CEO, Navroop Mitter wrote to me to defend Sabotage when I referred to them as a possible Pretangel in this post. I was unable to find enough verifiable facts positive or negative to confirm these reports, so I filed the information away in my Tim Lee, possible wolf of startupland file. Then Communiclique (doing business as CliqueAPI because changing your name...

Pulling Weeds in the DC Startup Garden

If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden and all the startups were plant life, the good companies would be flowers, especially Urban Stems and Bloompop that happen to sell flowers. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden than the DC Startup Tech "Journalists" would be the farmers who shine sunlight and spread manure in our gardens. "Journalists" from Tecnical.ly DC and DCInno do a great job of spreading the crap. They indiscriminately spread life-giving nutrients to all plants be they flowers or weeds. That's great because every garden needs fertilizer. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden it would be a small garden and unfortunately, this garden is over-fertilized with poo and is infested with weeds. The weeds you ask? They are companies like Trustify, Chalant Health, Union, and LifeFuels, with "Venture Craptial" firms like 3Si, with false prophets like Paul Singh, Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli. they are the second tier, phonies who don't even qualify to the 1st class huckster status like, Jason Feimster, Matthew Pugsley, and Janet Ridgely. To the outright abusive criminals like Andy Powers, Danny Boice, and Jen Mellon. If the DC Startup ecosystem was a garden, this garden would need a gardener willing to get his or her...

Connectpreneur with Mr. Cranky and Social Tables, Dan Berger

Where will you be on the morning of September 2oth? If you have a bone to pick with Mr. Cranky, if you want to throw tomatoes at Glen Hellman, if you're a process server and you haven't been able to pin me down, you can find me at Connectpreneur. I'll be there to sit down with Dan Berger, CEO one of DC's startup gems, Social Tables. On April 5th, 2011, I received this tweet. @glehel hey! Let's try to connect at the end of the meetup. — Dan Berger (@danberger) April 5, 2011 A week later, I found myself sitting down with Dan in a Starbucks in Bethesda. Two months later, I found myself one of the first people stroking a check to invest in Social Tables. On the 20th, I will sit down with Dan Berger for our first in-depth conversation since he kicked me off his board of directors in August of 2014. CONNECTpreneur Fall Forum, Washington D.C., September 2018 AT&T Forum for Technology 601 New Jersey Ave NW, 5th Floor, Washington, D.C., 20001 Along with unprecedented NETWORKING, the agenda entails: FIRESIDE CHAT WITH ROCKSTAR CEO & ENTREPRENEUR DAN BERGER, Founder & CEO, Social Tables Moderator: GLEN HELLMAN, Cranky old Turd   Plus, ten promising early-stage presenting companies will be announced on September 17th. Want a 40% discount? Don't...

What A Crock Of Startup Bullshit

I can't take it anymore. I can no longer continue ignoring Paul Singh's startup bullshit disguised as wisdom. Folks in the know keep forwarding to me ridiculous articles, stupid investments, and silly tweets of Paul's. One of his latest gems, a blog post titled, "You (probably) don't need a MVP, You need a list"  forwared to me with the subject line, Do You Believe This Shit? Yes, I sure as shit do because I consider the source. It's Paul Singh, the "prestigious," prestidigitating street performer from the traveling medicine show of startup bullshit. The man who packed up all his earthly possessions into an Airstream trailer, left DC and his Family behind in a cloud of dust. Just in time to beat the crowd of investors and entrepreneurs armed with pitchforks who showed up at his castle (see actual photo below)! [caption id="attachment_78750" align="aligncenter" width="960"] Actual Photo Of DCTech Investors on the way to Paul's House Before They Found Out He Skipped Town[/caption] Since then, he's been traveling to other startup boonies posing as the one-eyed man of startup bullshit in the land of the startup blind. He's the guru of getting it done in startup backwaters like Utica, Kitchenoo, Port Huron, Tallahassee,...