DCA Live Red Hot Not

Last week I noticed a posting from a friend about DCA Live on Twitter. It got me thinking, which is something I try to do every 10 years or so. What the hell is a DCA Live? Here's what I saw on Twitter: Awesome event! Congrats to the nominees!! Great list of top tech cos in DC!! — Tien Wong (@tienwong) July 10, 2018 Just wondering? What qualifies as a red hot company? If I started a company, April 2015, burned through $3 million and produced no product...

Jen Mellon is Unfaithful

Mr. Cranky opens up his mail today. And today's entry from Mr. Cranky's mailbag is from a first time writer who submits the case that Jen Mellon is unfaithful. I'm sorry fans, but Mr. Cranky doesn't control his incoming mail so once again we talk the Trustify Danny Boice and Jen Mellon story. What is Faith? Jen Mellon, alledged cofounder of Trustify proclaims to be a woman of faith. She claims to be born again. Yet all who know her intimately will share that Jen Mellon is unfaithful to her faith. Jen Mellon cheats and lies to her investors. She uses money intended to build Trustify for personal use. For a lavish life. Jen Mellon is unfaithful as a corporate officer to her investors. Jen Mellon abuses her employees. Jen Mellon is unfaithful to her employees. Jen Mellon is unfaithful to her husbands, boyfriends, fiances, and friends. Jen Mellon is unfaithful to her friends and lovers. Update July 6th, 2018: Jen is a social climber. She's always looked to upgrade. In fact, she use to tell people that she was part of the prestigious Mellon Family. Funny story there. Jen was at a party when she mentioned to someone that she was a "Mellon." Then the lady...

RIP 3Si VC

Today is a sad day for DCTech. It appears that one of our most active, if the tonnage that one bullshits qualifies as active, VCs is no more. Just take a look at the website. http://www.3siholdings.com and you see a blank WIX web site. Ha Wix, the preferred site of fakers, fools, and felons. Come on Jason, WIX sites cost as much as $0...

Executive Coaches Light Bulb Whoopass

Sometimes I Have To Admit, #DCTech Isn’t So Bad

[caption id="attachment_60126" align="alignright" width="150"] Fake Grimlock holding a can of WhoopAss[/caption] When it comes to DCTech, ya'll, well, any of ya'll in DCTech who have ever read my screeds know that Mr. Cranky is a Glass Half Full kind of guy and that Half Full Glass is usually Half Full of Urine. Now, most of you are thinking that Mr. Cranky, is from New Jersey by way of Brooklyn before Brooklyn was as our President would say, "Infested," with hipsters, just used the word ya'll and you're wondering WTF so I'm going to tell you WFT, and TF is that the word, ya'll empowers me to say things like "Bless Your Heart," instead of the New Jerseyian equivalent which is, F$3K OFF! Hows that for some stream of consciousness bit spewing vomit (the first person to correctly diagram the proceeding sentences gets a free can of Mr. Cranky Driven Forward Whoopass as pictured here). Today I'm here to Praise DCTech and not to bury her. In the last 2 weeks, I've serendipitously managed to meet several DCTech Real Startup Founders. Here are companies that will make my next release of "100 DCTech Companies I Don't Hate." Nakul Manjal - Status Identity. provides powerful Multi-Factor Adaptive User Authentication by creating a...

Death By Venture Capital – Angel & Venture Capital Part III

Many Startups fail caused by Death by Venture Capital. Here's the deal. Imagine you are a parent. You have three kids. You don't give a crap about the kids as individuals. You take a portfolio approach to the family.  It doesn't matter what happens to any of the kids individually as long as one of them grows up to cure cancer, it's a win! The other two could wind up dead or in jail, but the portfolio of kids is highly profitable. Venture Capital is like that, except VC's eat their children...

Hear Trustify’s Jen Mellon Lie on June 20th

Yes I know I'm talking about Jen Mellon, the horrible human masquerading as a do-gooder and founder of a great startup and wife of Danny Boice. For my regular readers, this is old hat and you don't have to read it. I know, I'm a bulldog with a bone that won't let go. This post is targeted for those who are not regular readers and who may be taken in by the classy facade of the rotting Potemkin Villiage that is Trustify and it's leaders. There is a group of people, sponsoring a talk by Mellon and these people who are putting their reputations on the line. I can only assume they haven't looked behind the curtain. These sponsors are aiding and abetting criminal activity by seeming to endorse two criminals. Want to hear a bunch of lies? Want to meet a pathological lying sociopath in person? Then come and hear Trustify's Jen Mellon lie about all kinds of things including how she retroactively founded a company (neat trick Jen Mellon). Multiple people forwarded to me the invitation pictured below. Not because they thought the meeting was worthwhile. Even  I, politically incorrect Mr. Cranky won't repeat the Samantha-Bee-Type-verbiage used in the emails making fun of this event featuring Jen...

Revisiting the Startups Turd to Gold Ratio

For startups, the Turd to Gold Ratio is a measure of quality density. It isn't enough to just judge the number of startups in an attempt to gauge the vitality of any startup ecosystem. One must separate the wheat from the chaff. Crunchbase and AngelList are simple non-prioritized, unfiltered, non-vetted lists of startups. There is no pretense of a measure of quality.  Alternatively, Technical.y DC and DC Inno are vacuous frauds pretending to analyze and report on the quality of a startup while loving everything and rarely spotting a gem. They are more heavily weighted to turds than gold...