Art or Entertainment

It’s Friday and I’m tired of business so bear with me as I opine on the difference between entertainment and art. For those of you interested in startups and technologies with no interest…. feel free to skip.

What we going to do tonight, ehhhhhhhhh?  Movie or Film.  That’s film pronounced fil-lem with your pinky up whilst drinking tea.  You know the difference…. right?  If you enjoyed it but the critics hated it, it’s a Movie.  If you walk out of the theatre saying WTF did I just do with my last 2 hours……. welcome to the world of fil-lem.

My ex and I once brought another couple to see a movie called “Memento.”  The storlyine?  A guy tries to figure out who killed his wife.  Only problem is that when she was murdered, he suffered brain damage and now has short term memory loss, he can’t remember anything that happened 5 minutes ago.  The film is arranged in 5 minute sequences, arranged backwards, in order to give the audience the feeling of short term memory loss.

The protagonist (a word that Film people use while Movie people say Hero), takes Polaroid pictures (Okay for you kids, in the olden days we had these large bricks we carried around called cell phones that made phone calls and that’s about all they did. Therefore we needed to use specialized devices called cameras  if we wanted to take a selfie and the Polaroid was a certain kind of camera that allowed the user to view a photo within 5 minutes of taking a photo providing you shook it as you may recall from the Outkast song, “Hey Ya.”) of people and writes notes on the back of the photo in order to compensate for his poor memory.

The movie ends in the beginning where actual murder is shown to the film goer and the secrets are all revealed.  As we walked out of the movie, the other couple remarked that it was “interesting” (hint to readers, when someone says a movie is interesting? It’s a film.  When they say it was friggin awesome… that’s a movie!).

Funny thing is six months later I’m at a dinner party at the other couples house and a third couple sitting across from me, starts talking about how friends of the host, dragged them to see some crazy movie that they hated called Memento.  Well I felt compelled to speak up at that point and said, “How cruel, I think I would never speak to anyone who did that to me, ahem and could you please pass the peas?” That my friends, in a nutshell is Film.

So if that is Film, what is a Movie?

There are only 2 kinds of movies.  Movies for Guys or (Shoot Em Ups) and Movies for Gals or (Chick Flicks)  They don’t make films dedicated to one gender or the other, cause people who watch and enjoy film are androgynous.  You can recognize them by their outfits. They wear black turtlenecks, black stretchy pants, black berets, and black “Elvis Costello” glasses.

What are the general characteristics of guy movies? Guns and lots of them.  Things blowing up and lots of them.  Scantily clad woman and lots of them.

Gal Movies, have tall, well groomed, handsome guys who are sensitive, like to have long chats, they cry and are you ready for this… are decidedly heterosexual? Hahahahahahahah,  do you know how many  straight,  well groomed, handsome, sensitive crying guys, that like to have long chats there are in the world…. I mean besides me?  You’re as likely to find a guy like that as you are to find leprechauns, big foot, or Jimmy Hoffa’s final resting place.

So what is it for tonight eh?  Movie or Film?

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