3Si Phony VC
Everyone Who Knows Anything, Knows 3Si Phony VC is a Sham. Well, everyone except the local tech rags. With them, when it comes to that “knowing” thing, there appears to be a problem. These Tech “journalists” either don’t know much or don’t care about sharing letting what they know to get in the way of a story on deadline.
The problem in DC is that too many of the “journalists” at rags like Technically DC and DCInno simply reprint bullshit without doing research. So when they post an article like this one, “WeWork’s veterans-in-residence program expands to DC,” by Technically DC or this one, “The 10 Entrepreneurs in WeWork’s First D.C. Veterans in Residence Program,” by DCInno the damage the very ecosystem of which they claim to be supporters.
I reached out to one, count them, one, of the listed “Team Members” on the 3Si Web Page to ask about his relationship with 3Si. His response, “I Read your 3Si expo. I’m unfortunately linked with them and can’t seem to distance myself. One of the comments you posted came from my client. I Also have a second client that 3Si attempted to screw.”
I’m no journalist, yet, in doing a modest amount of research I reached out to one person via email and I hit gold. Sam Sabin and Stephen Babcock please don’t be accomplices in screwing the real startup entrepreneurs. Why don’t you ask a question and verify a fact or two? Do you vet anything you write?
Let us not forget to ask Bunker Labs…What were you thinking? How did the Emily McMahan and Seda Goff vet their Veterans in Residence? Did Feimster pass the smell test? Is he the only bad apple? Does his presence taint the reputation of the other nine? Does Matt Lembright consider Feimster his equal? Is Feimster representative of the program? Is Bunker Labs an entrepreneurial asset or a joke (see that, Sam and Stephen? That’s what you call asking questions).
Fortunately, legitimate business journalists have given Feimster the attention he deserves… none. His lack of press has forced him to create his own. For instance, he was an “author” at AlleyWatch until a Cranky old fart pointed out that all 12 articles he submitted to AlleyWatch were plagiarised (see post here). Feimster is so desperate for press he had to write his own batshit crazy article in which he ranks 3Si Phony VC, is one of the 9 real VCs in DC (see this article by 3Si Phony VC, Jason Feimster where he unabashedly compares his goat rode to other real and joke firms). Kudo’s to you Sam and Stephen for not writing that article.
Feimster’s List of the 9 DC VCs includes 3Si Phony VC!
The firms Jason reviewed:
- 3Si Phony VC – He says they have a $70 million fund. They don’t have a $7 dollar fund and there is no evidence that they raised or invested a dollar (while in this article 3Si has a $70 million fund in other places they have a $20 million fund and in Crunchbase they have a $97million fund).
- Grotech – Congratulations! The clown car driver got one right.
- Revolution – Wow 2 out of three… now he’s better at finding nuts than a blind squirrel
- Swan Legend – Impressive, that’s a little known and legitimate local fund!
- 1776 Fund – Whoops.. there goes his momentum. Well, I’ll give him this, while 1776 is not a Venture Fund and never was a legitimate Venture Fund it is 20 times more legitimate than 3Si Phony VC.
- New Markets Education Partners – Sure.. Mark Grovic is a good guy but these guys aren’t making a bunch of DC bets. There are plenty of VC’s that rank way above them.
- Backus – Burke Partner Fund – No Feimster you clown, they never launched this thing. You mean Proof Fund or New Atlantic Ventures.
- Greenspring Associates – Ah, yes NEA founder, Check Newhall’s kid’s thing in Owings Mill. What is the last investment they did in DC?
- Sinewave Ventures – Oh, yes, Yanev Suissa, former NEA guy, raised a small fund and made a few bets.
How about Core Capital? Would you put them ahead of your #1? Hey Feimsiester, have you ever heard of a little firm called New Enterprise Associates, also referred to as NEA? It’s understandable how a Venture Capital expert like you would miss the largest Venture Capital Firm in the world. 3Si with two nickels under management dwarfs NEA’s $18 billion under management. Maybe you skipped them because they are probably a flash in the pan, after all, they were only founded in 1977.. they probably aren’t going to make it.
Maybe you missed NEA because you mention 3 NEA spinoff funds, New Market, Greenspring, and Sinewave. Maybe you skipped them because your office, cough, cough is located in as your website asserts, some undisclosed secret bunker in Washington DC and their office is only in Chevy Chase, Md. But wait, Sinewave is in Owings Mills MD, do you know how far that is from the beltway Jason?
TEDCO is bigger than 3Si as is CIT as is the tip jar at the Oakton Starbucks. Great article Jason Feimster. It demonstrates you don’t know shit about the local VC scene and just proves… 3Si Phony VC is a sham. I’ll say one thing for this journalistic wonder… at least you didn’t plagiarize it like you do everything else (See Jason Feimster, 3Si Phony VC’s History of pretending to know shit from shinola).
Portfolio Companies listed on 3Si Phony VC’s Angel List Page
In an effort to appear legitimate, any VC must have a portfolio so 3Si has created a portfolio… of sorts. Yet, the portfolio doesn’t pass the sniff test. It passes the I-am-trying-to-scam-you test and the Jason-thinks-your-stupid-and-you-won’t-vet-this-con test.
- Bite Engine – No description. This company has an incomplete suspicious entry on Angel List. Found nowhere else on Google, LinkedIn, crunchbase, etc. No Logo. No Team.
- Cain Enterprises – According to Cain Enterprises, they are “an investment platform that helps startups and small businesses raise capital online. Our investors are always looking for great opportunities. If you have a company with a unique idea, then we are interested in learning more. The sweet spot for our platform is companies or startups that need $150,000 to $1,000,000 in capital.” Their angel list profile shows no team. They have a bare-bones LinkedIn profile. A google search reveals about 20 different Cain Enterprises.
- Cyber Research and Intelligent Solutions Provider (CRISP) – Is a “Cyber Incubator” or Accelerator located in a 4 bedroom, 3.5 bath, 3,393 sqft foot home somewhere in Spottsylvania. The only person listed on the team is Arnold Webster, who is also listed as an advisor for 3Si. This is a nothing-burger turd.
- Cybertronics Limited – This is just another CRISP, same people, same old shit.
- Freshman Investors – Great news… this one has a web page and Feimster is on it. The bad news, this isn’t a portfolio company. It’s another small, amateur accelerator. It is most likely as legitimate as a thing as 3Si.
- Future Life -The founders tell me they are not affiliated with 3Si in any way. Future Life is designed to help Veterans suffering from PTSD. Feimster reportedly jerked these guys around. That doesn’t seem very supportive of veterans.
- High Caliber Weapons Detailing – A company in a space that is hotter than Artificial Intelligence, Deep Learning, Crypto Currency and Autonomous Vehicles combined. They are the leader in Weapons Detailing… want your AR to sparkle… call High Caliber Weapons Detailing. They have 3 part-time employees including Feimster. This is a hobby not a startup.
- LifeMarkers – We’ve already talked about this company… it has two employees and both of them are the two principles of 3Si.
- sadikiTEK (Sadiki Technical Solutions) – Not a well-defined profile on Angel List. All activity is back in 2015. The last comment on this page, “Is this company still in operations?” was left back in July 2017. There was no response… I guess that answers that question. NO!
- Sweet Honey Farms – A bare bones, name only Angel List profile. No employees.
Feimster’s Lame Crunchbase Profile of a 3Si Phony VC
Let’s examine what how Feimster describes himself to the world. On Crunchbase:
A Marine turned serial entrepreneur. [Cranky Note: Nothing but respect for the Marine thing. Thank you for your service. I say that with no sarcasm or rancor. My issue is with the second part a guy who’s been out of the marines and in the business world for 5 years doesn’t quite qualify as a serial entrepreneur. Congrats though on saying serial versus cereal. As an aside, I sold my house in Potomac in 2006 to a Cereal Entrepreneur, he paid cash for it from his General Mills trust fund…. no really, I shit you not.]
No ivy league MBA here [Cranky Note: Ironic considering Feimster states he is Wharton educated on his Angel List Page (see image below). But here’s the problem with liars… it’s very difficult to keep track of your lies. On one page you’re not an ivy leaguer on the other you and President Trump are classmates]. Just boots on the ground (if you’ll excuse the pun) experience as an entrepreneur and investor in startups. Jason truly believe the soul of the US Economy is in the growth of small businesses and he’s passionate about finding them, investing in them, and nurturing them to growth. [Cranky Note: You think if he was passionate about investing and nurturing small businesses he’d do that instead of jerking around hopeful founders and making zero real investments]
Jason’s competitive advantage is he doesn’t have institutional funds demanding 10x returns in 7 years. Thus he can focus on each entrepreneur and their company in order to work collaboratively to get the right desired outcome. [Cranky Note: It may be an advantage not to have institutional funds but it’s kind of a disadvantage for an "investor” to have absolutely no funds. But that’s just my opinion. Maybe the best investors have nothing to invest. Actually when you have nothing to invest you have nothing to lose which could be an advantage but as usual I digress.]
Why should you trust a Marine to invest in your business? [<[Cranky Note: Folks, people who serve our country deserve an extra look. Deserve an extra chance. Yet being a Marine does not make you more trustworthy than being a Paratrooper, EMT, Policeman, Priest or Warren Buffett. That being said, if the Marine is Feimster and is an verified liar and plagiarist… maybe he is not the ex-Marine you should trust.]p>
Because Marines know how to work hard, to engage others in plans, and behave with integrity and honor [<[Cranky Note: Except those Marines who don’t behave with integrity and honor… just sayin]Marines never leave a (wo)man behind and Jason feels the same way about his portfolio companies [<[Cranky Note: it is notable that he feels this way about his portfolio companies (Jason, one company is not a companies) especially since the only portfolio company he has is his own company, LifeMarker. This is like Sadam Hussien saying I treat everyone well because I don’t torture, rape and kill my sons]/p>
Currently, Jason serves as the Managing Partner of 3Si Micro Venture & Holdings (3Si).
Jason Feimster appears to have pulled himself up from his bootstraps. He wasn’t born to wealth. His parents (I’m going to protect them by using fake names), Jake and Pat live in a modest prefab home in rural North Carolina somewhere between Charlotte and Greensboro. The median income in their town is $41 thousand dollars and the appraised value of their home is under $150 thousand dollars. I’m not saying they are not salt of the earth people. I’m not saying they aren’t good hardworking Americans. They are probably the kind of people that make America great. I’m just saying that if Jason runs a $70 million dollar fund, it is unlikely he is investing from his trust fund.
Jason rents a home and I can find no record of real estate property ownership. He lives in a small rental home in Vienna. There is no evidence of any large windfalls like insurance payouts, lottery wins, company sales, bitcoin billionaire flukes. He’s 31 years old and was a non-commissioned officer in the Marine Corps for 5 years. He’s been out of the Marines for only 5 years. When did he pick up all that business wisdom and cash?
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t come from money either, and I’m not wealthy but I also don’t pretend to have a $70 Million dollar venture fund of which I didn’t raise money from institutional investors. I pretend to have zero dollars in my venture fund. Feimster must have saved his pennies more effectively than I because he has a $70 million dollar fund. The money appears to have just appeared as a gift from God. Remember Jason’s profile where he explains his competitive advantage?
Let me remind you he says, “Jason’s competitive advantage is he doesn’t have institutional funds demanding 10x returns in 7 years. Thus he can focus on each entrepreneur and their company in order to work collaboratively to get the right desired outcome.” So the guy has a modest upbringing, 5 years in the Marine Corps, and five years in a mom and pop business and now he has $70 Million. Where did the money come from Feimster? Did you join with Clooney and Walberg on the Three Kings caper?
I call bullshit. My bet is Feimster doesn’t have $10 dollars and a spent Metro Farecard in his fund.
Go Fund Me Scam
If Feimster has a $70 Million fund? Why is he running this Go Fund Me scam to raise peanuts (see link here and quick, donate today… operators are standing by)?
On February 19, 2018, Feimster stood up a Go Fund Me Page, attempting to raise $25 thousand dollars. According to Feimster, the money will be used for the worthy cause of helping veterans become successful entrepreneurs. That’s the reported goal.
Question? Is a lying, know-nothing with no history of success in business and no visible means of support able to be trusted with $25 thousand of other peoples money? Can a 31-year-old who has no demonstrated proven track record of success in business teach veterans how to build a business?
It’s strange that the only two donations to date are fake real donations or labeled “offline donations.” What is an offline donation? That’s a self-reported donation. It means that someone can donate $0 and can self-report it as $2,500. Who made those “donations?” Feimster made both bogus donations, if not making a donation can be considered making a donation. The non-investing investors are Juliet Foxtrot Ventures (aka JF Ventures, aka Jason Feimster Ventures) and 3Si Venture Capital (aka 3Si Phony VC) are both Jason Feimster.
I call Bull Shit on your Go Fund Me, Feimster.
The Definition of Dumb Money
Oh, the irony of it all. Feimster’s web page has an article he allegedly authored called, “What’s The Difference Between Smart Money & Dumb Money.” It’s an ironic post for many reasons. For instance:
- Feimster didn’t write this post, he plagiarized it from Venture Hacks (see the original here) by Nivi Babak. Only a dumb investor would plagiarize an article by someone with the notoriety of Babak. It’s too easy to discover and if you want to be a real VC instead of a 3Si Phony VC, you might not want to piss off the co-founder of Angel List.
- It’s not a very interesting article. It doesn’t contain much original thought (there I go, possibly offending one of the co-founders of Angel List. I can do that because I don’t want to be a VC and I’ve already written that I think Angel List has devolved to a Facebook quality site full of bullshit). I would have been unimpressed if Feimster had the intellectual capacity to write this fairly mundane post. Next time, copy a better article you, rube!
- This article about dumb money is an unabashed indictment of 3Si Phony VC and Jason Feimster as the very definition dumb money (that is if not having any money can be considered money). For instance, if anyone followed the only really useful point in this otherwise inane article, “Weed out the dumb money with diligence,” that would eliminate Feimster from consideration. Of all the money, I’ve ever experienced his money, or lack thereof is the dumbest of the dumbest money. Keep in mind, I say this fully knowing some pretty crappy people, like Evan Burfield, Jonathon Perrelli and Paul Singh who call or have called themselves VCs.
- This article states, “Don’t assume any investor won’t be harmful. Do the diligence to prove otherwise.” The article then goes on to recommend several questions to get answers to that include:
- “Avoid dumb money: you don’t hire harmful people—so don’t marry them for the life of the company either.”
- “Do you trust him?”
- “Does he have impeccable references?”
- “Do you want to marry him for the life of the company?”
- “Is he committed to investing in startups and does he have a reputation to protect in the startup world?”
Make no mistake, Jason Feimster is dumb money and his 3Si Phony VC thing is a total sham. Stay away!!! And DCInno and Technically not Technical DC, you owe DCTech an apology.
Disclaimer: I volunteer my time and am an independent contractor for many organizations. The Views on my blog post are my own and do not represent the views of any of the organizations with whom I dedicate my time. That includes my clients in my coaching practice, the members of my Driven Forward ThinkTank, the University of Maryland. Mach37, The Founders Institute. These views also do not reflect the opinions for any organization that I was formerly associated with including, James Monroe Elementary School, where I graduated with distinction from 6th grade, Lexitron which I left in 1982, Montgomery Youth Hockey or Vistage an organization was grateful to be a part of and happily parted ways in 2014.