10 Surprising Signs You May Be a Startup Douche

Are You A Phoney Startup Douche?

In DC there are the real business leaders, the folks who’ve built things of value, who are giving back. They are the builders and the givers. Then there are the pretenders and the takers the vampires who pray on the future generation of builders. They pray on their hopes and naiveté. They suck their blood and leave their bodies dry. Now you’re probably not a Phony Startup Douche but just in case you are… ask yourself these 10 questions:

  1. Do you look at your twitter profile and realize you have passionately reinvented kickass bull turds?
  2. Are the majority of companies that you say you advised disavow any knowledge of you?
  3. Are the ones who don’t disavow your involvement out of business?
  4. Have you had any exits in which your investors didn’t show you the exit?
  5. Have you been sued more times for breach of contracts than contracts you’ve signed?
  6. Are the spoof accounts making fun of you more authentically educational and intelligent than your account?
  7. Were you able to wrangle a government grant with the help of a former petty inconsequential business development director of a corrupt administration under federal indictment where the only difference between you and many of the other city officials and associates is you are not in jail… yet?
  8. Is being tall about the only authentic non-disparaging thing people can say about you?
  9. Does the mention of your name to the owner of the company that was your former? strategic partner and investor in your last “startup” turn his neck veigns pulsing and produces steam from his ears?
  10. Are you starting to feel how lonely it is on the way down?

So what do you think? Are you a Phoney Startup Douche?